Monday, October 1, 2012

Worry or not to worry?

“Worry is a type of mental habit, which arises from the belief that it's good to worry. This belief gets acquired during our childhood. And then it keeps getting strengthened from our life experiences. We start from this belief. That attracts negative circumstances; as a result the belief gets strengthened further, because you think that with life full of so many negative circumstances, it's important to think of negative outcomes beforehand. You don't realize that these negative situations occurred in the first place largely due to this belief. When we are faced with a negative situation, again we worry because we hold that belief. Again it's the same result. In this way, we are caught in a vicious cycle.

How do we come out of this cycle?

By changing this belief to - 'it's not good to worry'. Once we do that, there is no guarantee that negative situations will completely stop arising in our life, because we have performed negative actions in the past (either in this birth or past births), but the extent of negative situations will be minimized. And even if they do come, they will bid goodbye sooner, if we have a worry-free consciousness.”

With reference to my post 10'Sept12

To expand on the same we have to understand what Worry means. Worry ia a sense of anxiety or disturbance created by repeatedly creating a scene of a negative event/outcome even before the scene has happened and accepting it to be true ot almost to be the truth. Worry is not a set of logical thinking as almost always is presumed by people. Worry instills a great sense of depression even before there is any real cause of depression.

Worry is a sense of deep fear created due to imaginative loss of something. Now once this is understood it becomes imperative to understand why fear is so deeply instilled in our minds that worrying about a particular loss comes 1st in our minds than any other thought. This is because from our birth to this date we have trained our minds to function in a certain particular way called “thought-pattern” and thus in case of any emergency our minds 1st creates those thoughts according to our thought pattern and then the body reacts accordingly. You can simply understand this by the fact that some people can handle stressful situations way better than others, not because they had any extra means of resolving the situation but because they had a Mind – Set that gave them the vision to resolve it.

So well once the mind has adapted to a certain pattern of thoughts and it gets difficult to break them, we start losing hope creating feelings for eg. Im jinxed, always bad happens with me, loss is always my side, someone or other is always conspiring against me etc. This further pulls our mind away from solutions and attracts more problems and challenges in life. By the time we understand this we already mess up our lives too much and then comes situations like suicides. While large number of people believe that worrying is important especially at challenging situations or a worry less life is worthless or tasteless , the fact is that worry alone is responsible for for pulling you into the doomed circle od sadness. It attracts you to the pit of sadness with a gullible innocent face of giving you solution and turns into a witch by sucking out all your positive energy and hope of future.

After all this it becomes essential to understand how to overcome this whole cycle and yet be able to find right solutions at right time.

1. Before anything else change the word “worry” with “pro-active thinking”(or just thinking would also do fine). It means while in worry you thought about why this happened , what will I do now, why this happens with me always or trying to remember every past event where something similar has happened. You stop for a second and accept the fact that a certain situation has arrived , that is you understand and convince your mind that there definitely is something I have to and will find a solution to. (Caution--Please don’t fret how others would react the world can wait to form opinions , they will always do like it or hate it so avoid the world and it opinion angle in this else the whole effort would fail.)

2. Once the mind accepts this. Prioritize – what or who is most important where the damage control has to be done.

3. Gather information –all about solutions – don’t relate past experiences feelings rather think how or who had helped you if a similar thing had happened in the past. (Caution—we often create sad felings from past while trying to look for solution from past. In this whole scene not only do we lose precious time we also don’t learn anything from past. We simply watch it like a movie.)

4. Do it. Don’t fret about world , as you have already sorted our priority all by yourself any further thoughts would only take you away from happiness. So act don’t let the thinking go over you.

Worrying doesn’t do any good at all and a worry less life doesn’t mean challenge less life. I know some people like being brooders that victim feeling makes them feel that I’d earn some sympathy points from someone and with that they hope to clutch on that person and spend their lifes. In reality nobody likes victims , people can sympathize but then you’d always be an extra baggage for them no amount of love can pacify anyone if there is no self willingness to do it. Most importantly worrying about losses will never add to anything, what has gone has gone while pro-active thinking can not only do damage control but also adds to hope of restoring happiness in your life. Then you’d find that you’d never be dependant on anybody to bring that smile of peace on your face.



Nirmala said...

Beautiful aritcle Shreya dear.

I do have the habit of worrying mostly about the hurts caused by others. Since i am not that talking sort, it does take some time for me to get over the hurts. No, i dont consider myself a victim :)

i will keep the tips in my mind and try to break the habit.

Thanks dear.

Shreya said...

You know even I worry at times then i need to talk to myself and get over it. But yes ever since i have been working on myself the time span to recover has reduced drastically so i guess all of us are in our own journey of learning these things so don't worry take your sweet time to break it bit by bit.

Btw thank you for dropping by and writing this lovely comment.


JaiMaaDurga said...

Excellent points concerning "worry"..
it has proven helpful to me also to consider the other usage/definition of "worry", as what a dog will do with an old bone.. in this way, "worry", "wear" (as in 'wear and tear'), and "weary" can all be seen to be connected in the English language.. so, "worry" only leads to being "weary", why "wear myself out"?

Lovely blog btw, glad I came across it!

Shreya said...

@JaiMaaDurga (nice name :) )

...... Thank you so much for placing your comment. Btw the connection between the words "worry" and "weary" is really interesting , i guess when words were formed their originally derivation made some sense related to the word. Like "human" is derived from latin word "humus" which means Earthy, dirt or soil. So interesting it is to note the connection that our bodies are actually derived from earth and goes back to it and still all our lives we keep doing everything only for this.
Anyways I am a positive person by nature so I really believe people some day would remember their original nature the one's from which they are derived and not the one we have become.
Looking forward to your comments in the future too. Thank you.

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