Monday, October 1, 2007


There’s a philosopher in every soul, an artist in every spirit.
An outlook of the world that we form in our heart is because of the mix of ideologies that we believe in and the influence we have bygone…....what ever ‘they’ (referring to many traits) are at the end of the Day we call it “Attitude”.

Friends I really might not be able to impress you with my thoughts here because this is my style of writing and my style is none of your business (showing tinge of my attitude ;) )

One of the most important Human needs (yes, going to the depth of even the needs from any relation) is to be understood, cherished and honored. You don’t need to do all this in any grand way to make the other one feel gr8 but honestly a small effort can make you savour the best from any relation. This small effort is Listening.

Its said when Intelligent men want there wife’s to be quiet they say “ you look beautiful when silent” . An easier way to escape when you don’t want to listen. Jokes apart ……..but seriously most often in our daily life’s we end up what we call in our college slang bugging up others………

Yet again listening to somebody is waiting for the other one to stop talking. We expect the other one to stop and listen to us that’s our way of going…..Talk till you lose your Breath.
Nevertheless I don’t personally object to talking when you have something really nice to share and the other one is willingly ready to listen to you ……but buddy make sure the other one is listening.

Being a human being its easy to understand that most often when we have somebody to listen to us we wanna talk and talk Our Hearts Out………bz that’s how you want it to be……you like sharing with those who cherish what you say….isnt it?

We have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason God wants us to listen and have patience more than talking and arguing. So chose to listen more than you talk.
A few tips I feel like sharing for an impressive listener and a beginner who wants to listen more ……..and talk less –

1. Eye contact:

Chose to look at the other person when things are being told to you when your eyes wander into looking around the room and the other one is talking…… makes the 2nd person feel neglected. If you have chosen to sit down and really listen make sure your eye contact is good.


When I say eye contact it doesn’t mean you start gazing the other one so badly that he/she feels awkward to an extend that they stop sharing. Be genuine listener empathize with the point being made by the other. Use comforting and encouraging eye contact.

2. Stop Interrupting:

I know if you have just started listening ………..the bug really doesn’t let you do so ….you end up interrupting with YOUR Point of View into the others story which really isn’t right.
The other one has got a sense of his/her own and don’t teach or preach until and unless asked for a suggestion….they may just want you to listen not Conclude what they should have done or should do. So Stop Interfering Till Invited to do so.

3. Pauses to understand:

A very essential part to make the speaker feel that you are really listening is to pose the right question at the right time ……it means when you are actually listening you ask ‘what’s next’ ‘then what happened?’ etc or might even be a question according to situation.
Try to pose the right question at right time
and you would have more information than you would have ever imagined the other one would share.

4. Right pause:

From the above 2 points you might be confused as to where to talk and where not. So here’s a simple tip to know when your understanding has turned into interference.
When you talk for more than a minute or half and the other one is quiet you sure have lost your sense.
And invite the other one to continue.

According to a US news and World report….
Over the course of your lifetime “ you will spend 8 months opening your junk mail, 2 yrs unsuccessfully returning phone calls & 5 yrs standing in a line .”
Listening is really not waste of time you always learn more when you listen and share .

As said –
“As long as you live, keep learning how to live”Roman philosopher Seneea

Till next time adios……..

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