Saturday, April 28, 2012

Attaching Labels

I remember this from not a very old ad of abhishek bachchan in Idea in which every man was identified with a number and no name. How true numbers have no labels no color , no caste , no creed etc. It so wonderfully depicted our set mentality of listening to someone's name and attaching various labels on it. Have you seen this movie " A Wednesday " where in the last scene Anupam Kher the commissioner refuses to divulge the name of  "the common man" played by Nassiruddin Shah, because he said people will create feelings, reasons, justify or criticise him based on his labels of name. And if he let him be just "the common man" then we'd all at one level find a string of attachment to him.

The idea ad and that scene from a wednesday all point to that one thing and yet we all try to inore and avoid its existence "Attachment to labels".  Here we are in the 21st century trying to create a world of equality yet our subtle mind has not given up on creating labels and opinions so fixed on people that they become hard to change forever. It is like that herd mentality one goes and others follow, and we do it all the time no matter ow much we deny.

A recent example of this came up when "Shahrukh khan" was held for repeatative interrogations for hour at US airport his label ?? "Khan" a muslim name ? how pityfull for a big Democracy like USA. No denial that the same thing happend with Mr. Abdul Kalam after he had just stepped down from presidentship he was madeto open his shoes , socks even after knowing he was India's x-president. No the point is not about getting angry on anyone who does what is their job , ask yourself are we untouched by this ?

Labels are opinions a brain detects  and generates series of feelings attached to it based on information feeded to it.  They are nasty they come quickly and they never go, they stick to you like forever. Until ofcourse you have the courage to change it over years through your action orthe person who has labeled you has changed his mindset. Think of anything under the sun with every word you get feelings, opinions & different vibrations attached to it. For eg. say red and brain immediately flashes a red color , a red apple, a red lipstick or a red car depending on if you are a child, a woman or a man. It is different for different people , which means the meaning of the label varies according to the perception and information that they have createdduring the course of their life.

Labels could be as simple as colours and could be as complex as opinions. Unfortunately we create labels every second about everything and anything. Good, bad, fat, think, lier, honest, rigid, simple, loving, hating, black, white, hindu, muslim, generous, miser, lazy, pretty, ugly and so many many more think of any adjective and that would be your opinion about someone, something, somenation, some gender etc. Meant to harmonise differences , over the time they have only created differences. Label does not distinguish  anything and it does not spare anybody. No wonder thoughts like "first impression is the last one" have gained so much importance.

The probel is not with labels , they were created to group the alikes together but unfortunately today we only see differences. Honestly over the time we have become resistive to change, not only have we become stagnant but we create negative energy for anyone who wants to break that shackle of his label. You and I label people and things from the time we meet them 1st and once done the brain rejects to re-think or reconsider those labels when we meet them next. We carry forward labels of past meeting into the future and unfortunately brain negates to re-label even we have the choice to see things under a different light. In response the other person also sends back similar resistance (if the label was negative) or acceptance (if the label was positive) and that paves path of your DESTINY with that person. So ultimately our in-flexibility of labels created destiny related to the labeled object and then we blame stars. :-)

Lets say a parent has labeled a child as "lazy" after some incident or incidents. Later no matter how much the child does what even at the slightest of rest (which might come after hardwork) the parent will immediately reiterate the child as "lazy" untill the child is stable and positive to work on himself or the parent is mature enough. However these single everyday labels will create the destiny of the child and parent relationship either of conflict , negative energy and dis respect or love and harmony. It is thus destiny created by us.

Labels are easy to change if you can overcome the feelings of past experiences and give your memory a refresh like computer screen does. Every soul deserves a chance to change, even if you do not wish to continue with someone change the label with forgiveness and move away. In the long run it beneficiary for you only. Look out for change don't be so resistive, everyone changes over time like the time itself. All we need is a little knowledge and little love to let that happen. And then DESTINY is yours.


Friday, April 20, 2012

Strength / Power is

Strength/power is :

1. When you love someone without the fear of losing them.

2. When a man can appreciate his wife’s achievements without the fear of losing his masculinity.

3. When you stop judging people based on their work.

4. When looks are not a deciding factor for you.

5. When your silence speaks more than a 1000 words.

6. When you are not afraid of losing.

7. When your friendship with light does not haunt you in dark.

8. When you don’t forget your values for money.

9. When bending down in front of elders does not make you from an older generation.

10. When learning from a child does not make you feel like a dwarf.

11. When smile and peace is your answer to the corniest and carpiest remark.

12. When love stays inside your heart more than anger.

13. When faith and hope are the foundations of your decisions.

14. When white hair adds experience to your personality.

15. When the scariest thing that can happen to you is losing tune with inner self..

Strength is Capacity to resist force or pressure, and the definition will have varied meanings depending  on your opinion about force or pressure.

adios :)

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Respect and Fear

Quiet often we have heard people say that respect is to be earned and not demanded and definitely not commanded. But still in our everyday life we either demand or command respect. Repect of a parent from a child , boss from and employee, senior from junior , husband from wifand in almost every relationship we yearn for respect.

Respect in general is the attitude of high esteem or admiration of someone. It could also be about self or someone else. Funny it is but a simple definition like this would explain you that fear should ideally have no relationship with respect. Yet in our everyday lives we fear only then we respect. Interestingly both the victim and the oppressor are unaware of the fear and understand fear as a mark of respect.

Let’s face it in almost all our homes we are expected to respect our teacher out of fear , infact I remember when Principals in school are in rounds they are teachers “What kind of a teacher are you, the children just don’t fear you.?” . Wow I wonder when the schooling system would chage to remember that teacher student relationship is not about fear but one born out of respect. Nevetheless it is not the fault of school or parents or children , as the society in general has begun to believe in this system.

When a person creates fear in another, it is usually to show that I can control and disturb a certain part of your life and since we are all in a dependent on each other in our materialistic world it becomes very easy to harm and give loss to someone who he thinks as victim. But eventually if you look at the mindset of the person who demands respect and creates fear it the one who is actually a victim. A clear victim of lack of self respect and self confidence. It is this lack of faith in self that creates a sense of vaccum inside which eventually gets filled up when fear inside someone else reassures him that “I am worth getting respect”, it means that over the time every gain he creates at the materialistic world becomes his ornament like his money, house , car , gadgets , education, physical power etc because it is through these that he get reassured from others of being powerful. A truly confident person will never create fear, silence and peace are his strengths.
The bestest of relationship of a parent and child is also not free from it. A parent creates the fear of punishment in a child’s mind to push the child to do some work. Over the time as the child grows up and masters the art of creating fear and he forces his wishes on others even on his parents. Then the parents say the children don’t respect them. Amazing but when Respect is born out of Fear, how can it sustain when the sense of Fear is gone ??? Once the fear is gone the respect also evaporates.

Now the question is Do I want to get respected this way ?? What are my other options?
First : remember newton’s 3rd law “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. “ What you would give would come back in equal amounts. Learn to respect and value the person you expect respect from. No not just in actions but in your mind learn to respect the fact that every person is entitled to his/her opinion even if the other opinion is wrong according to you , the person is right from his opinions his experience.
Second : Try and practise your thoughts , when you respect a person or child from within your actions should also be the same. The more the environment of understanding is created the better the thoughts are conveyed.

Third : Patience Patience and talk talk … nothing will happen in a day. Always know if you are not able to convey your thoughts and opinions and if you force it on other , the other person will always hold it in mind that the decision or action is because of you and even the slightest of error will trigger him to blame you. So arm yourself up with every reason for your opinion and keep talking till you can convince the other.

Fourth : Do not go into hurt and sadness if the other person is not convinced. Because even if the other person is not covinced and continues to work his own way, the other person will always respect the fact that you did not push your opinion on him and thus eventually at slightest of pain he will remember your advice thus inducing respect from within and not from fear.

Every person in this world will do what they want to , you cannot protect them from pain always. If respect is practised from both sides then eventually you would never have kids hiding their mistakes from you, you wouldn’t have an employee bitching against his boss. Eventually What you give is what you get is true not only for today , tomorrow or day after but forever. Let’s be equals in true sense.

Adios :)

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Tagged post

Hii everyone :)
I have been tagged by this lovely person pavani :) , thank you dear it has been my pleasure to do this activity it was fun. Sorry everyone I was really late at this because I had been out at a holiday then back home had to rearrange lots of stuff. :)

So back to tag

The rules go like this -

Rule#1: Put the rules on your blog.
Rule#2: Every person who is tagged in this activity should tell 11 things about themselves, then answer the questions asked by the person who tagged you, then tag 11 other people and ask them 11 different questions.
Rule#3: Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.
Rule#4: Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before.
Rule#5: Really do tag 11 others, don't go all ''if you want to take this tag''

Rule 1: done
Rule 2:

1. I am a firmly positive person , i wonder why but even in the toughest of situation i can think only positive. Negative thoughts hardly flash up.
2. I am scared of ghosts yes badly :P i hate watching horror movies :(. I know my mind would keep repeating all that at night.
3. My favorite drink is water, I really can drink 2-3 big bottles a day and i never get bored of it :P.
4. Well I am teetotaller i.e non smoker and non drinker. Not that i oppose any of these but some of my ideas are strange and in my perception I am happy this way.
5. Really and truely i don't enjoy chocolates and ice creams like other girls do. Weird but may be in childhood doctor kept me away from this so much that over the time I have never deveped a taste bud for this :).
6. I love listening to people , all their stories , rants , their good or bad day etc etc i love to sit back smile and listen to them.
7. Sunflowers are my flowers not roses . I have always been fascinated by how those tiny sunflowers are such ardent lovers of sun and so admiringly look at him al the time, while other flowers shy away from that harsh sun. It teaches me how you can turn the bad for the rest to your best. It is really worth admiring.
8. I have weird combinations while eating food. :) I eat paratha with sugar and pickle, i eat milk powder with sugar , mixture with sugar basically sugar mixed with most things :P i wonder what i'd do if i turn diabetic ever :D. God don't make me one please ever. :)
9. I am a bit dance fanatic. I have learnt kathak, jive in the past but most of my dances are bollywood inspired belly dancing is my latest fad. :) Its awesome trust me.
10. I find saree a very ravishing Indian dress infact the only reason I'd keep myself "thin" life long is to wear saree in a slender way. It is one dress that scores way higher than any other dress.
11. I have no list of buying or hardly any wishes. Once someone asked me to prepare a list of things I'd want and i got super confused :P i mean i have everything and I am so satisfied i don't feel like creating a list. And even if i do so it cannot be made in fluke , i am practical i need time to reasearch and get best value stuff.

(uff !! it was some real hard work to tell 11 things about me.)

Now Pavani's questions:
1. Do you love makeup?If yes why??
I don't have a hate or love relationship with it. It more depends on my needs. I feel if i want to glam myself up I should know how to use it but I also have the confidence of walking bare faced anywhere , i don't feel handicapped in its absence.

2. Your opinion on astrology and horoscope matching during indian weddings???
Partially yes because I have a perception that our seers and elders where somehow more sensible in science then than we are now. If you think of the time when girl and boy din't meet before hand some kind of classification was good it was mere probability of future . But I also feel that if you are in love and are confident to make something work no amount of future probability will stop you from that just hold faith in your heart and keep moving. :)

3. Your place of choice for settling India/U.S.A/other foreign country??why
ALWAYS INDIA. Honestly i can adjust anywhere and make it feel like home but come on in a country where I am born in is always 100's above any other ;).

4. Shoes/bags/clothes??why?
preference hmm.. clothes > shoes >bags. Arey pehle kapde pehan lo :P baki sabke bina bhi manage kiya ja sakta hai ;)

5. Your style mantra?
Just be confident what else? :) i don't worry about style a lot.

6. What do you like,love,lust the most in this world??
my loved ones... i am hopeless at making a wishlist yaar how can I point a single thing. :D Just my loved ones around me safe and sound and happy what else does one need.

7. One makeup tip/beauty tip you swear by??
make up tip: kajal :) and lip balm. Nothing is more attractive in make up than dark eyes and smooth kissable lips :)
beauty tip: keep your hands sanitised when ever you touch your face, it is the biggest reason of pimples of all kinds and rest becomes history.

8. Your choice of colour for your bridal saree/lehenga?why?
anything excepy sky blue or blue family I am open to colors, yes family would love to see me in rust red yellow gold etc :P that is another story.

9. do you have a budget for your makeup???
Nope i just make things a bit sensible, I mean just reasearch and buy good then it depends on your need and the quality of the product. If it is really imp and good I am ready to go beyond my budget but i know how sparingly i use make up so i don't invest heavily. Just being sensible helps.

10. Your favorite foundation,concealer,blush,bronzer,lipstick,lipgloss,kajal,mascara,brushes(did I forget something,no I guess hehe)
God ... I have hardly tried as many stuff as you have written.
Uptil now
Foundation Bourjois healthy mix 54
no concealer
i already have naturally blushing(with past pimple marks) cheeks i hardly need blush ;)
lotus herbals peach creme glams up my lips instantly
no lipgloss
maybelline collossal kajal
avon suer shock mascara fairly decent
Sigma flat top kabuki .. amazing finish.

11. Your heart jumps with joy for??aches when you???why

How can I be subjective with this ... hmm donno it has to be lots of things when my heart jumps with joy mostly events related to my family may be when they are happy and aches when again when they are in pain. Most often or at least these days i have learnt to be more stable in life so joy or aches have reduced and I stay relatively happy All the time :D. It is like a slow dose of happiness all the time 24x7 rather than sudden fluctuations. :)

My 11 questions: (Pardon me i am horrible at asking things )

1. When was the last time somebody said you thank you or you said thank you and felt extremely elated by that ?
2. Did you have a moment when you felt bad refusing some body for something? please share .
3. How do you judge people from first look to after few meets ? i mean based on clothes, style , gadgets, behavior , speech, sensibility, intelligence. How would you rate these adjectives(or more if you have) on the scale of 1 - 10. eg looks 6.5.
4. Do you remember a child teaching you something important in life that was long lost from your mind or you din't pay attention to ? (your answer could also be no , you never had any such incident)
5. How would you describe yourself in a painting ? Use your imagination and feel free to write adjectives and fill colors in them.
6. Do you believe in God , what is your spiritual concept about him?

Some quick ones:
7. Land or sea or sky which one and why?
8. Hugs or kisses which and why ?
9. Socialise or solitude which and why ?
10. Sun or moon which one and why?
11. Freedom or Fairy which one and why ?

Ok now i dont know who has been tagged so even if you have been tagged before do it again for me :) it is fun trust me :)

Here goes the list:
1. Sonia
2. Suruchi
3. Saucy
4. Ankit
5. Ani
6. Nivedita
7. Prashant
8. Soumyadeep
9. Lancy
10. D.Beena
11. Aman

(I wanted to tag all my readers it would have been lovely to know your thoughts but 1. there is restriction on number of people and 2. many of my readers don't have their blog so they cannot do a post about it. Can some one tell me if we tag people who don't own a blog how would they do this tagged post ? Can they do it on my blog ? as guest post ?----- If yes then i'd put up an update and tag many more lovely Souls :D :) )

Thankyou all. :)


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