It is that time of the year when school children are occupied with books. They are pressed with studies and rugged through time. Time bound schedules, ample of course work to study and yet their mind wanders away most during this time of the year. It is here that attraction, distraction and attention comes into play.
Though attraction or distraction is not just something we encounter as children during our studies but eventually it is kind of a habit a mind develops over the time. Just that the mind of a child is still young enough to be trained and adapted better to attention than that of an adult. Today we shall discuss about any kind of attraction or distraction experienced by young or adult.
I kept wondering why or for what reason are we attracted towards something willingly or unwillingly. In this process of churning my mind for this topic I realized how varied meanings we have for the same thing. How a single explanation cannot satiate every person because of perceptional differences. I realized that we are actually a bunch of too many flowers of which many are dry and many smell foul , yet we continue to hold on to them only fearing if we leave them we would have nothing better.
Attraction is a force of pulling something/someone towards something else/someone else. Distraction on the other hand is a deviation of something/someone from the already aligned towards something/someone. Both I would deal as a means of ATTENTION deviation, one is willingly and other unwillingly.
Let us take it as subject and object. Then by definition it would be force of pulling a subject towards an object. Again people are free to choose their subject and object here, it is applicable to both in living and non living world. So when a subject is being pulled of its attention towards an object willingly is Attraction but when a subject is being pulled to give attention to object unwillingly is Distraction.
Usually people come up with instances like I am being attracted towards her or I was attracted towards this song etc. The statement is flawed it gives the person a sense of helplessness and absence of control, it is self inflicting choicelessness. Why you ask? Because ideally if you are not willing to deviate your attention towards something and yet you find yourself putting your mind into the object then it is deviation. So the statement should have been I am being distracted by her or I am being distracted by this song etc. In this statement you are giving a subtle hint to your mind that you do not want to pay attention to something and it is violation of your mind, so it must be stopped while in the earlier one you were yourself willing and yet helpless in holding your attention. That explains how attraction and distractions are grossly misunderstood in everyday life that adds to confusion in our sub conscious mind.
Before I begin anything we must understand the concept with which mind works for either distractions or attractions.
The basic idea of mind (subject) is to learn to analyze differences between objects. This is done through its 5 vital senses and 5 subtle senses. Physically and mentally the differences are analyzed by the intellectual capacity of mind. Let us understand this with an example I call it example of a “White Room” – If a mind is placed in a white room hypothetically exactly same on all side then the mind will eventually slow down its process of creation of differences thus reaching to a state where it will feel neither attraction nor distraction. If in case you now introduce two points in that room Red spot and Green spot. Being different from existing state mind will now pay attention to the two spots. Eventually the mind will be attracted to the one of whichever color it prefers or has a set of impressions already attached to it. This tells us that our attachment to various things decides the intensity of attraction/distraction to that object while differentiating from existing surroundings.
In real world situations pertaining to our attention is more complex. Like I said mind is always looking out for things with more differences, more separation, more analysis and more complexity that is its sheer nature of being creatively fulfilled. Mind has a certain flow of energy while doing a work, so once you create a thought of regularity (not able to create newness or differences or lack of creativity) it hinders that flow of energy. For e.g. mind has a steady flow of energy while you are studying , when you create thoughts of non-newness your attention is bound to get distracted towards anything that shall add that newness to your thoughts.
Mind energy is like electricity it wants to flow freely and creatively analyze and resolve things, but our attachment to certain ideas actually stops that creative flow and like electricity when faced with resistance it flows towards lower resistance – mind does the same. For e.g. while you are working(work =object 1) you are attracted (willingly) towards a beautiful girl (girl = object 2), because when compared object 2 has more newness than object 1 that is because of already feeded information in your mind …….. to this add to the fact that you will state I am attracted – a feeling of helplessness yet willingness thus there is no stopping.
Mind always has an image what it will be like to be with what you are attracted too. So you create a future scene and enjoy it because your present seems boring and regular. The ”What if ??” actually creates a longing process and then you let it flow and flow. Mind creates a no pain zone in presence of such an attraction. Soul wants energy to flow as soon as it creates an hindrance on one side its opposite allows flow of energy thus attraction.
So you may ask what is a way out of it? I am not sure a certain steps will work with everyone because I said perceptions within matter a lot. I might go to a book stall and may be attracted to Self help section of books while you may be attracted to romantic fiction, different attractions. Just a few ideas to be shared.
1. Firstly change the language and make a conscious choice of language.
If you are willing to deviate your attention then accept it as attraction and don’t mull over it too much or else if you really do not want the attention to be diverted use the word “Distraction”. This will remind the mind of your already existing attention to an older subject.
2. Feedback Elevate self or Reject object
Since only two things are responsible for Attraction and Distraction. Feeding right thoughts either about the subject or object is very important. Once you have acknowledged it is unwanted attention object you feed information that elevates your idea about yourself at a very high place or neglects the idea about object. For example if you are in a room and someone is banging the table continuously you know it is Distraction which means it is irritating and unwanted so you elevate yourself higher by stating that you are either enjoying the sound or by reminding yourself that you have much to do with the object you already have at your hand thus rejecting the diversion.
If you are into math’s and a sound is irritating you and you cannot stop it then either accept it as part of silence rhythm around you or remind yourself that math’s is more interesting than the sound.
3. Feedback Regular
If it is a regular distraction then to hold your attention remember that mind is like a child do not hold it too tight or do not rebuke it hard chances are that it will go against you. Also you cannot leave it on its own so a balance has to be achieved.
Slow and steady instructions work. Specific and systematic instructions hone your sharpness and attention. Like everyday add feed to your mind about your likeness towards an object you want to keep. This can be studies/relationship/work anything. Your will power + everyday feed back to the object will subconsciously hone your attention and in turn convert into a genuine attraction for you. Then you will realize you did not have to work too hard to holding your attention on it.
The trick is to increase a sense of will power by everyday 1 minute exercise + 1 minute every day. (+ means increase holding attention to object already at hand.)
4. Avoid going to Addiction level.
Do not wait for one day when deviations will go on its own. It never does. I have faced this already and I know it doesn’t go just by analyzing and knowledge. Do not let it go to the level of addiction and then expect it to revert back. If you are addicted to TV then it won’t go away just one fine day. You have to take some steps consciously for its removal, pushing too hard will fail and pushing too soft will not uproot it. So work steadily with steady pressure but do work on it.
5. Most important of all is your CHOICE and a REASON to move away.
You choose – your will power increases – you choose again in shorter times then longer times one attraction at a time. Keeping it simpler deals better with Distractions. Give your mind a solid reason of liking some else than liking this (addiction/distraction).
For e.g. when people are in love they change their preferences because their mind finds a solid reason of liking X compared to Y. So we see dramatic changes in people who are in love. Just reverse choose to love yourself.
You take a conscious step forward for Acceptance of Problem (Attraction/Distraction) --- then you decide if it is Willingly / Unwillingly --- then you choose to cut it off or keep it by your language (using right words of attraction or distraction) --- then you choose to feedback positive elevated thoughts about self or reject object --- then you choose feedback everyday by 1 minute exercise -– Choose repeatedly by providing valid reason.
As I say in all my posts these things are not a one day affair but if you are genuinely trying to work over an attraction and keep your mind stead fast on something then trust me in some time you’ll reap benefits. There is no one on earth who will say I have never had deviations or distractions but sane are those who are able to keep it in check and fold their mind according to their will. In my personal opinion I do not like telling my mind that it is like horses without control instead I keep repeating you are horses and you love to be in my company.
So Aspire for greater targets and you shall achieve them. Impossible is nothing.
Adios :)P.S - I myself have worked these steps out and failed several times then again tried partly successful so I am sure this is working good.