It is that time of the year when school children are
occupied with books. They are pressed with studies and rugged through time. Time
bound schedules, ample of course work to study and yet their mind wanders away
most during this time of the year. It is here that attraction, distraction and
attention comes into play.
Though attraction or distraction is not just something we
encounter as children during our studies but eventually it is kind of a habit a
mind develops over the time. Just that the mind of a child is still young
enough to be trained and adapted better to attention than that of an adult.
Today we shall discuss about any kind of attraction or distraction experienced
by young or adult.
I kept wondering why or for what reason are we attracted
towards something willingly or unwillingly. In this process of churning my mind
for this topic I realized how varied meanings we have for the same thing. How a
single explanation cannot satiate every person because of perceptional
differences. I realized that we are actually a bunch of too many flowers of
which many are dry and many smell foul , yet we continue to hold on to them
only fearing if we leave them we would have nothing better.
Attraction is a force of pulling something/someone towards
something else/someone else. Distraction on the other hand is a deviation of
something/someone from the already aligned towards something/someone. Both I
would deal as a means of ATTENTION deviation, one is willingly and other
unwillingly.
Let us take it as subject and object. Then by definition it
would be force of pulling a subject towards an object. Again people are free to
choose their subject and object here, it is applicable to both in living and
non living world. So when a subject is being pulled of its attention towards an
object willingly is Attraction but when a subject is being
pulled to give attention to object unwillingly
is Distraction.
Usually people come up with instances like I am being
attracted towards her or I was attracted towards this song etc. The statement
is flawed it gives the person a sense of helplessness and absence of control,
it is self inflicting choicelessness. Why you ask? Because ideally if you are
not willing to deviate your attention towards something and yet you find yourself
putting your mind into the object then it is deviation. So the statement should
have been I am being distracted by her or I am being distracted by this song
etc. In this statement you are giving a subtle hint to your mind that you do
not want to pay attention to something and it is violation of your mind, so it
must be stopped while in the earlier one you were yourself willing and yet
helpless in holding your attention. That explains how attraction and distractions are grossly misunderstood in everyday
life that adds to confusion in our sub conscious mind.
Before I begin anything we must understand the concept with
which mind works for either distractions or attractions.
The basic idea of mind (subject) is to learn to analyze
differences between objects. This is done through its 5 vital senses and 5
subtle senses. Physically and mentally the differences are analyzed by the
intellectual capacity of mind. Let us understand this with an example I call it
example of a “White Room” – If a mind is placed in a white room hypothetically
exactly same on all side then the mind will eventually slow down its process of
creation of differences thus reaching to a state where it will feel neither
attraction nor distraction. If in case you now introduce two points in that room
Red spot and Green spot. Being
different from existing state mind will now pay attention to the two spots.
Eventually the mind will be attracted to the one of whichever color it prefers
or has a set of impressions already attached to it. This tells us that our attachment to various things decides
the intensity of attraction/distraction to that object while differentiating
from existing surroundings.
In real world situations pertaining to our attention is more
complex. Like I said mind is always looking out for things with more differences,
more separation, more analysis and more complexity that is its sheer nature of being creatively fulfilled.
Mind has a certain flow of energy while doing a work, so once you create a
thought of regularity (not able to create newness or differences or lack of creativity)
it hinders that flow of energy. For e.g. mind has a steady flow of energy while
you are studying , when you create thoughts of non-newness your attention is
bound to get distracted towards anything that shall add that newness to your
thoughts.
Mind energy is like
electricity it wants to flow freely and creatively analyze and resolve things,
but our attachment to certain ideas actually stops that creative flow and like
electricity when faced with resistance it flows towards lower resistance – mind
does the same. For e.g. while you are working(work =object 1) you are attracted
(willingly) towards a beautiful girl (girl = object 2), because when compared
object 2 has more newness than object 1 that is because of already feeded
information in your mind …….. to this add to the fact that you will state I am
attracted – a feeling of helplessness yet willingness thus there is no
stopping.
Mind always has an image what it will be like to be with
what you are attracted too. So you create a future scene and enjoy it because
your present seems boring and regular. The ”What if ??” actually creates a
longing process and then you let it flow and flow. Mind creates a no pain zone in
presence of such an attraction. Soul wants energy to flow as soon as it creates
an hindrance on one side its opposite allows flow of energy thus attraction.
So you may ask what is a way out of it? I am not sure a
certain steps will work with everyone because I said perceptions within matter
a lot. I might go to a book stall and may be attracted to Self help section of
books while you may be attracted to romantic fiction, different attractions.
Just a few ideas to be shared.
1. Firstly change the language and make a conscious choice of language.
If
you are willing to deviate your attention then accept it as attraction and
don’t mull over it too much or else if you really do not want the attention to
be diverted use the word “Distraction”.
This will remind the mind of your already existing attention to an older
subject.
2. Feedback Elevate
self or Reject object
Since only two things are responsible for
Attraction and Distraction. Feeding right thoughts either about the subject or
object is very important. Once you have acknowledged it is unwanted attention
object you feed information that elevates your idea about yourself at a very
high place or neglects the idea about object. For example if you are in a room
and someone is banging the table continuously you know it is Distraction which
means it is irritating and unwanted so you elevate yourself higher by stating
that you are either enjoying the sound or by reminding yourself that you have
much to do with the object you already have at your hand thus rejecting the diversion.
If you are into math’s and a sound is
irritating you and you cannot stop it then either accept it as part of silence
rhythm around you or remind yourself that math’s is more interesting than the
sound.
3. Feedback Regular
If it is a regular distraction then to hold
your attention remember that mind is like a child do not hold it too tight or
do not rebuke it hard chances are that it will go against you. Also you cannot
leave it on its own so a balance has to be achieved.
Slow and steady instructions work. Specific and systematic
instructions hone your sharpness and attention. Like everyday add feed to your
mind about your likeness towards an object you want to keep. This can be
studies/relationship/work anything. Your will power + everyday feed back to the
object will subconsciously hone your attention and in turn convert into a
genuine attraction for you. Then you will realize you did not have to work too
hard to holding your attention on it.
The trick is to increase a sense of will power by everyday 1
minute exercise + 1 minute every day. (+ means increase holding attention to
object already at hand.)
4. Avoid going to Addiction level.
Do not wait for one day when deviations
will go on its own. It never does. I have faced this already and I know it
doesn’t go just by analyzing and knowledge. Do not let it go to the level of
addiction and then expect it to revert back. If you are addicted to TV then it
won’t go away just one fine day. You have to take some steps consciously for
its removal, pushing too hard will fail and pushing too soft will not uproot
it. So work steadily with steady pressure but do work on it.
5. Most important of all is your CHOICE and a REASON to move away.
You choose – your will power increases –
you choose again in shorter times then longer times one attraction at a time.
Keeping it simpler deals better with Distractions. Give your mind a solid
reason of liking some else than liking this (addiction/distraction).
For e.g.
when people are in love they change their preferences because their mind finds
a solid reason of liking X compared to Y. So we see dramatic changes in people
who are in love. Just reverse choose to love yourself.
In short
You take a conscious step forward for
Acceptance of Problem (Attraction/Distraction) --- then you decide if it is
Willingly / Unwillingly --- then you choose to cut it off or keep it by your
language (using right words of attraction or distraction) --- then you choose
to feedback positive elevated thoughts about self or reject object --- then you
choose feedback everyday by 1 minute exercise -– Choose repeatedly by providing
valid reason.
As I say in all my posts these things are not a one day
affair but if you are genuinely trying to work over an attraction and keep your
mind stead fast on something then trust me in some time you’ll reap benefits.
There is no one on earth who will say I have never had deviations or
distractions but sane are those who are able to keep it in check and fold their
mind according to their will. In my personal opinion I do not like telling my
mind that it is like horses without control instead I keep repeating you are
horses and you love to be in my company.
So Aspire for greater targets and you shall achieve them.
Impossible is nothing.
Adios :)
P.S - I myself have worked these steps out
and failed several times then again tried partly successful so I am sure this is working good.
