Friday, October 21, 2011

Forgive Yourself

Life is a journey we all participate in and follow an infallible path of learning. Learning cannot be separated as right or wrong it is mere absorbing knowledge and knowledge is completeness. So if knowledge is complete it cannot be good or bad. it is human virtues which resurrect them according to their usefulness with time.

Human beings grasp and absorb hundreds of things from the time we are born, we are expected to judge or be judged according to our actions. So strong is the capacity of these actions or karma that they make us eligible for heaven and hell. Right or wrong rules , following or not following them can make us good or bad.

We live daily through hundreds of actions through our thoughts. Every thought we create forces us to actions and delivers results. Sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly we make mistakes , we participate in wrong doings, we create ill feelings basically we go against the inherent nature of social being that is love and peace.

Whether you speak harshly with your mother or you steal something or you kill somebody etc all these actions are devoid of love and peace therefore somewhere inside us we create a feeling called Guilt. It is quiet debatable whether somebody who commits a heinous crime should be forgiven or not by the society if it would keep or destroy social life , but today we would talk only about "self guilt" and learning to forgive oneself.

Apart from what society sees as crime we keep doing actions that create a sense of guilt or helplessness inside us. For example being rude to someone, being angry at someone, not appreciating somebody's affection, etc. We try to ignore them or find reasons , explanations and try to justify ourselves for the wrong doing and yet we do not feel like letting it go. And each day you add on a new pile of guilt.

When you are free from guilt , you feel peace inside. The most important thing is realizing , realizing is good it is a base for a positive change. It tells you to take action of your responsibility and makes you a better person. Yes there may be mistakes for which you cannot even go back and say sorry , no matter how much you try you cannot mend the heart you have broken. But you can promise you won't break another heart and this is a good change.

Yesterday has already passed and you cannot change what has happened, you don't even know if life will give you another opportunity to overcome that guilt but accepting your mistake makes you aware of the good inside you. It reminds you that your consciousness is alive and is ready to protect you. On creating guilt it warns us that we have broken a rule of our code of beliefs, values or behaviors. It alerts us to the fact that we are acting against something important of ourselves. At those moments it helps us to observe and question what is real, true, important and even sacred in our life and for us.
Let go , some mistakes have happened because others were meant to receive their end of karma for which you had to add on a karma. You cannot have a control on others emotions but can at least take responsibility of your actions. Punishment will only make things bitter for us it would be like living with a dead body. Isn't it better to live with the memory of the gone than hold on to a decaying body??

It is necessary to learn to respect our self therefore being clear inside gets very important. Let the essence of learning stay and let pain go. Let the guilt go and learn to forgive yourself.



pavani reddy said...

amazing post shreya..need them a lot right now!!

Shreya said...

You are welcome pavani :) and thanks a lot for reading this.

Soumyadeep said...

so u r back wid a bang...:-)
knowledge can be both boon or bane..take for example nuclear energy...

wat I feel is right or wrong is quite varies with individual & society.

we all need to suffer our karma...then why is dis judgement..bcoz ultmately what we are facing today is d result of our deeds...
nice post ma'am...

Shreya said...

@Soumyadeep... Thank you for your appreciation :-) and i also completely agree with your point. It ultimately depends on individual preference but it is just that there has to be a cloak of rules loosely tied around so that the society keeps working properly yes again what and how often it should keep changing is debatable.

Btw Please don't call me ma'am sounds odd coming from a fellow blogger , it reminds me of my juniors in college :) Shreya is good name isn't it ?

Suruchi said...

wow...i read this, marvelled at your in depth sense of sensibility...wondered how someone so young could be so mature and reading it again now to gather the full import!

great job done as always shreya, if only guilt was just as easily recognized, let alone battled with:-)

Shreya said...

@Suruchi ... oops im blushing :P i don't know about depth of sensibility i just know that i love learning and one cannot own knowledge completely so it is always good to keep learning from whatever sources possible. :)

And i so agree with your point that it is difficult to recognize guilt , i mean so many times we feel bad something upsetting inside us and we are so unaware why we are upset at all ?? That so many times some tiny winy guilt works inside us.

Always love your comments suruchi :) and Yay !! you called me shreya this time :D not shriya :P

Shreya :)

Soumyadeep said...

so ur juniors used to call u ma'am...dats nt fair...for us it was only during ragging period..Sir was used..
ok..I ll call Shreya...
by the way Shreya is a very beautiful doubt in that...

Nirmala said...

hi shreya, lovely thought with a lot of are quite wise dear...having wisdom is better than gaining knowledge. it is my perception. Again everything is a matter of perspective. even guilt. what do you say about false guilt shreya? you know in your heart of hearts you have done nothing wrong but still wonder whether you did something to hurt the other person!! is it weakness?

Nirmala said...

hi shreya, lovely thought with a lot of are quite wise dear...having wisdom is better than gaining knowledge. it is my perception. Again everything is a matter of perspective. even guilt. what do you say about false guilt shreya? you know in your heart of hearts you have done nothing wrong but still wonder whether you did something to hurt the other person!! is it weakness?

Shreya said...

@Soumyadeep ... well there was no compulsion and my juniors knew i'd never rag anyone :P let alone make them call me ma'am but i guess it was their wish to not call their seniors by their name so may be that is why kept saying ma'am :)

and thank you for calling me by my name :)

Shreya said...

@Nirmala .. hello again :) and thank you for calling me wise though i don't agree I'm wise yet just learning ... knowledge is such a wholesome word you cannot separate wisdom from skills there. I mean learning to drive a car is skill but learning how to drive it with responsibility is wisdom but both are knowledge.

Now coming to your point dear false guilt is a word that adds confusion into our minds , i mean either you do something wrong according to your values or you do something right.
Step 1 : First decide on our own values and beliefs. Think and know what is HURT for you??
Ask questions like Would you have felt hurt if the same would have happened to you?
Did my action go against my nature of peace and love?
Did it disturb me from inside? Am i restless?.
For example you know your parents love you lots and some day you stay out of home for long, they feel panic and say something to you in return you get back angry and hurt them.
The moment you say something hurtful you know inside you it was wrong because it is in your values to reflect back love and affection of your parents. But you did not do so which is why it generated an uncomfortable feeling.

I am not talking about others reaction of infusing guilt example some gf's (not all) cry create drama to make their bf feel guilty, I aint talking about that just simply the feeling where silence hurts you back.

Step 2: Once you think back on your actions and have decided if it was actually a guilt. It dilutes doubt of false guilt. Then confront and take responsibility of it. Accept it.
If possible face people you feel you might have hurt just once. It adds faith inside you.

Step 3: Forgive yourself. You have done what could have been done. How others take is is their reaction and their end of karma. You never know it might be just inside you may be the other person has already forgiven you. You just never know.

And if they didn't then may be it was their karma to keep the burden on and on not yours :). It is never your weakness it is your strength. Face it.

Hope that helps Nirmala.
Sorry for Loooonnngg comment. I had to delete some stuff to keep this short else it was going on and on :P.
Thanks for your comment.

Saucy said...

Hi Shreya. All I can say is a nice topic and very thoughtful words from you as always.

Shreya said...

Thank you Saucy :)

Debopam said...

Wonderful post.....

Shreya said...

Thank you Debopam. Checked your blog on several occasions beautiful pics.
Welcome here to my blog.
Keep posting.

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