Monday, October 1, 2007

Ssssshhhhhhhhh...........Listen


There’s a philosopher in every soul, an artist in every spirit.
An outlook of the world that we form in our heart is because of the mix of ideologies that we believe in and the influence we have bygone…....what ever ‘they’ (referring to many traits) are at the end of the Day we call it “Attitude”.

Friends I really might not be able to impress you with my thoughts here because this is my style of writing and my style is none of your business (showing tinge of my attitude ;) )

One of the most important Human needs (yes, going to the depth of even the needs from any relation) is to be understood, cherished and honored. You don’t need to do all this in any grand way to make the other one feel gr8 but honestly a small effort can make you savour the best from any relation. This small effort is Listening.

Its said when Intelligent men want there wife’s to be quiet they say “ you look beautiful when silent” . An easier way to escape when you don’t want to listen. Jokes apart ……..but seriously most often in our daily life’s we end up what we call in our college slang bugging up others………

Yet again listening to somebody is waiting for the other one to stop talking. We expect the other one to stop and listen to us that’s our way of going…..Talk till you lose your Breath.
Nevertheless I don’t personally object to talking when you have something really nice to share and the other one is willingly ready to listen to you ……but buddy make sure the other one is listening.

Being a human being its easy to understand that most often when we have somebody to listen to us we wanna talk and talk Our Hearts Out………bz that’s how you want it to be……you like sharing with those who cherish what you say….isnt it?


We have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason God wants us to listen and have patience more than talking and arguing. So chose to listen more than you talk.
A few tips I feel like sharing for an impressive listener and a beginner who wants to listen more ……..and talk less –

1. Eye contact:


Chose to look at the other person when things are being told to you when your eyes wander into looking around the room and the other one is talking……..it makes the 2nd person feel neglected. If you have chosen to sit down and really listen make sure your eye contact is good.


PLEASE DON’T STARE.


When I say eye contact it doesn’t mean you start gazing the other one so badly that he/she feels awkward to an extend that they stop sharing. Be genuine listener empathize with the point being made by the other. Use comforting and encouraging eye contact.

2. Stop Interrupting:


I know if you have just started listening ………..the bug really doesn’t let you do so ….you end up interrupting with YOUR Point of View into the others story which really isn’t right.
The other one has got a sense of his/her own and don’t teach or preach until and unless asked for a suggestion….they may just want you to listen not Conclude what they should have done or should do. So Stop Interfering Till Invited to do so.

3. Pauses to understand:


A very essential part to make the speaker feel that you are really listening is to pose the right question at the right time ……it means when you are actually listening you ask ‘what’s next’ ‘then what happened?’ etc or might even be a question according to situation.
Try to pose the right question at right time
and you would have more information than you would have ever imagined the other one would share.

4. Right pause:


From the above 2 points you might be confused as to where to talk and where not. So here’s a simple tip to know when your understanding has turned into interference.
When you talk for more than a minute or half and the other one is quiet you sure have lost your sense.
STOP RIGHT THERE.
And invite the other one to continue.

According to a US news and World report….
Over the course of your lifetime “ you will spend 8 months opening your junk mail, 2 yrs unsuccessfully returning phone calls & 5 yrs standing in a line .”
Listening is really not waste of time you always learn more when you listen and share .

As said –
“As long as you live, keep learning how to live”Roman philosopher Seneea

Till next time adios……..

10 comments:

chaitali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Saucy said...

Friends I really might not be able to impress you with my thoughts here because this is my style of writing and my style is none of your business (showing tinge of my attitude ;)

Do you mean by that that you don want ppl to comment on this blog??
Anyways it was nice time reading your poems and friend I really might not be able to impress you with my comment here because this is my style of writing and my style is none of your business (not showing even a tinge of my attitude at all;)

Shreya said...

hey hii...

no saucy i dint mean that people shouldnt comment for i have nothing against them :)

I just begun by saying this bz i dint want people to think that im writing this article to impress my idea on somebody(that is what few ppl think i do)
so that was an ans to them ........nothing to make ppl feel uninvited to my blog (that is y there was a wink icon )........

u can choose to put up endless gud or bad comments for my blog anything u wish to write is welcome.

Let me know which poem did u like most and if possible what you liked :)
looking fwd to more comments :)

thanx for appreciating
take care
regards
shreya

Saucy said...

When you write out yourself it never means to impose yourself. Even I write my views but never with the attitude of imposing. If it is the case then writing blogs wud be no less than dictatorship!

BORN AGAIN was what I liked most coz Im not one of those highly romantic persons. But I think lots about nature of life, world, self and relationship between them. Thinking all this leads to no conclusion other tan whole new pool of confusion.
I am a techie and I dont have that creative mind but once while traveling in train in the morning time, I dont know from where this small poem[http://saucy-unplugged.blogspot.com/2006/12/saucy-poet_08.html] pops out from my pen.

Saucy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shreya said...

Im also not a die hard romantic person but i deny to accept the point that thinking abt nature relations world life etc leads to confusion bz then thr's some problm in the kind of thinking you have adapted to....think simple think straight i dont really see any pool of confusion.
Honestly as long as the confusion lies within us we are confused about the world as whole.
And being a techie i guess you kw only thinking does nothing action has to be an integrated part of your idea only then it leads to something.
Sure would visit your blog and let u kw how your poem is.

Thanx for posting your comment :)
Take care
shreya

Saucy said...

By thinking, I dint mean to say that thinking alone is the way to find out answers. I meant to say 'rational way of ariving at conclusion and deriving plausible possibilities out of many' which is an important way of philosophizing. If nature of life, world, self and relationship between them would have been so simple then most of the philosophers we know today may seem to worthless.
This is one of the geatest topic in philosophy. A discussion that has been there from centuries and which has no ends.
Its very simple as long as we don't get into it.
I wish it wud hav been simple for me.

Shreya said...

Well i dont knw if i can particularly go deep into knowing what kind of relationship you are trying to establish betw everything ...thats lk may b philosophers job(as u said thats y they are worth of it)

i feel if i can live for what the relationships are meant to be, it wud b rather more useful n valid for a little one who hasnt got the brains of philosophers .......so i can simply say keep it simple.

AT the end of the day even philosophers know what they wr searching for was rather simple :)
everything in this big world has a simpler version lk they all run in some rules(I Know its a point which may run debates here :D) which may b or may not b out of our reach....so its gud to see you to b interested in knowing them I would rather be happier keeping it as said "SIMPLE".

anywz take care
(pardon me for late replies my examz are on wud try reply as soon as possible )
take care
adios
shreya

Saucy said...

The deeped I dwell the more I realize why some ppl called Aristotle a mad man.
I simply liked this keeping simple thing. But by rational reasoning over these simple thing we get to things which do not quite seem simple.I can write pages and pages over this simple/complex thing(few paes are in first 2 para of this post) but, as u said, lets keep it simple because each time I dont do that I find myself into a pool of unanswerd questions and Im out of my mind. So the tip is, it is good to be lil irrational and keep ur life going but sometimes the rabbit curiousity leaps over bounds into the pool.

And good luck for exams.

Shreya said...

I completely agree wid ur tip :D
but at times world needs some mad men so no harm in trying be one ..wat say :)

anywz the topic did waver away from what my article was but ur pages about anything are welcome here ...
thanx for posting ur comments and ur wishes too
take care
shreya :)

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