Monday, August 6, 2012

Liitle Appreciation please !!

Appreciation is the need of time today. We live in a world hungry for appreciation. Everytime you see a relationship you'd find that at least one of them is hungry for appreciation. To be thanked for, to be given importance in cash or kind, time or love, words or looks anyway or any form but appreciation is important it is like our trigger for happiness.

A wife expects appreciationfrom husband, a mother from her family, an employee from boss, children from parents, parents from society and society from the powerful. I guess that is why there is so much foul play in the name of God, because he's all powerful and those who claim being appreciated by im are never questioned by the society. And thus there is never ending pretence of "log kya kahenge" (what will people say/think.)

So what is this appreciation and why do we need it all the time. Most of us honestly memorise words without even knowing their real meaning in the behavioural world and then comes the world of misunderstanding my favourite eg for this is "love" one word serveral meanings. Anyways so appreciation is one such word , to me it is an acknowledgement of what you have done is right at some point or some situation. It is an acceptance recognised by time/people/society (whichever is more powerful). Ofcourse there are no hard written rules and this keeps changing.

Appreciation / Acknowledgement by others thrives on the fundemental rule of survival, the one who wants to survive without making things hard for oneself does what is accepted as NORMAL by others to get appreciated, thus making his life without resistance. It is like the law of electricity where current flows through path of least or no resistance. Fortunately in law of survival human beings are the only species which is capable of making exceptions and goes against the world dejected, rejected, alone yet coming out stronger and truer.

All of us are blessed with a sense of power inside us that we create in the journey of life which helps us face situations when people/society goes against us, we weep in dark but glow in day. This power is a result of our image we create with positive affirmations. Appreciation is like a pat on the back for us. A sense of positive energy and power offered externally to us that we lack from within. In my opinion every person has at least 1 out of 100 things that can be appreciated. We all make mistakes big or small a little appreciation from time to time then ofcourse an advice, suggestion or rectifing our mistake would be easier to understand than simply cynical criticism. That is why it gets even more essential for parents to make sure they keep appreciating their children then ofcourse you can sit back to rectify his mistake. Build the power inside then correcting mistakes gets easy.

No negative energy can create a positive environment. No criticism, insult or comparision can ever serve as motivation even though it appears to work for one thing it becomes harmful in the long run. On the other hand appreciation reminds us of that goodness inside the other and helps them to mould themselves over the time.

Adios :)


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Nirmala said...

Beautiful article as usual are really gifted..

Yes,in all of us there is a cry
for appreciation. But when your goodness is considered as your weakness and you are taken for granted, don't you condition yourself to live without
any expectation of any appreciation? Very hard though.
you just bury that need for appreciation alive.

Shreya said...

But the need of appreciation still exists Nirmala, in the statement you just said there is a superficial burial of expectation and a desire under the breath of tiny appreciation. Actually it is still very good at least you are able to make yourself understand that expectations can sometimes be fulfilled and sometimes not so at least you have started becoming master of your own emotions.

The deepest problem of expectation are two things we are conditioned to believe in:
a) our future , imagination of perfect future
b) our dependency for our feelings on others

Even when a wife cooks for her husband she keeps imagining scene of evening when her husband would smile and appreciate her hardwork. So when that scene doesn't come through our hope of happiness dependent on future + husband's reaction gets shattered. And then starts thoughts I do so much for them and look at them how they behave etc.

Anyways it is not a one day thing because we are habituated to feel happy based on what others do. I think it is important to learn how to keep self happy and give space to others. It would seem selfish at first but if you are not happy nobody around you can be happy.

Thanks for your comment and compliment Nirmala :)
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