Saturday, April 28, 2012

Attaching Labels

I remember this from not a very old ad of abhishek bachchan in Idea in which every man was identified with a number and no name. How true numbers have no labels no color , no caste , no creed etc. It so wonderfully depicted our set mentality of listening to someone's name and attaching various labels on it. Have you seen this movie " A Wednesday " where in the last scene Anupam Kher the commissioner refuses to divulge the name of  "the common man" played by Nassiruddin Shah, because he said people will create feelings, reasons, justify or criticise him based on his labels of name. And if he let him be just "the common man" then we'd all at one level find a string of attachment to him.

The idea ad and that scene from a wednesday all point to that one thing and yet we all try to inore and avoid its existence "Attachment to labels".  Here we are in the 21st century trying to create a world of equality yet our subtle mind has not given up on creating labels and opinions so fixed on people that they become hard to change forever. It is like that herd mentality one goes and others follow, and we do it all the time no matter ow much we deny.

A recent example of this came up when "Shahrukh khan" was held for repeatative interrogations for hour at US airport his label ?? "Khan" a muslim name ? how pityfull for a big Democracy like USA. No denial that the same thing happend with Mr. Abdul Kalam after he had just stepped down from presidentship he was madeto open his shoes , socks even after knowing he was India's x-president. No the point is not about getting angry on anyone who does what is their job , ask yourself are we untouched by this ?

Labels are opinions a brain detects  and generates series of feelings attached to it based on information feeded to it.  They are nasty they come quickly and they never go, they stick to you like forever. Until ofcourse you have the courage to change it over years through your action orthe person who has labeled you has changed his mindset. Think of anything under the sun with every word you get feelings, opinions & different vibrations attached to it. For eg. say red and brain immediately flashes a red color , a red apple, a red lipstick or a red car depending on if you are a child, a woman or a man. It is different for different people , which means the meaning of the label varies according to the perception and information that they have createdduring the course of their life.

Labels could be as simple as colours and could be as complex as opinions. Unfortunately we create labels every second about everything and anything. Good, bad, fat, think, lier, honest, rigid, simple, loving, hating, black, white, hindu, muslim, generous, miser, lazy, pretty, ugly and so many many more think of any adjective and that would be your opinion about someone, something, somenation, some gender etc. Meant to harmonise differences , over the time they have only created differences. Label does not distinguish  anything and it does not spare anybody. No wonder thoughts like "first impression is the last one" have gained so much importance.

The probel is not with labels , they were created to group the alikes together but unfortunately today we only see differences. Honestly over the time we have become resistive to change, not only have we become stagnant but we create negative energy for anyone who wants to break that shackle of his label. You and I label people and things from the time we meet them 1st and once done the brain rejects to re-think or reconsider those labels when we meet them next. We carry forward labels of past meeting into the future and unfortunately brain negates to re-label even we have the choice to see things under a different light. In response the other person also sends back similar resistance (if the label was negative) or acceptance (if the label was positive) and that paves path of your DESTINY with that person. So ultimately our in-flexibility of labels created destiny related to the labeled object and then we blame stars. :-)

Lets say a parent has labeled a child as "lazy" after some incident or incidents. Later no matter how much the child does what even at the slightest of rest (which might come after hardwork) the parent will immediately reiterate the child as "lazy" untill the child is stable and positive to work on himself or the parent is mature enough. However these single everyday labels will create the destiny of the child and parent relationship either of conflict , negative energy and dis respect or love and harmony. It is thus destiny created by us.

Labels are easy to change if you can overcome the feelings of past experiences and give your memory a refresh like computer screen does. Every soul deserves a chance to change, even if you do not wish to continue with someone change the label with forgiveness and move away. In the long run it beneficiary for you only. Look out for change don't be so resistive, everyone changes over time like the time itself. All we need is a little knowledge and little love to let that happen. And then DESTINY is yours.



Swati Murti said...

very well-written piece, Shreya!! and, yes, its true that we are all prejudiced in various aspects of life like meeting people or accepting changes not exactly conforming to our comforts. the worst of the prejudices I have seen in my life is north indians and south indians. no doubt some of the opinions regd either of the cult stays same but really, a human is after all evaluated on their personal merits and not exactly on a community level. so, these labels become a stigma at some point and can really affect a person at a deeper level just like you depicted the child-parent relationship.

Shreya said...

@Swati... hi swati :) i so agree that at some point these labels effect deep inside our mind that is why it gets very important to make oneself internally very immune to these changes. Honestly every one out there is sitting to judge everyone else and that is why it is impossible to expect them to stop hurting us. I gave the parent child relationship example to just show how such a sensitive relation is also subjected to prejudice. :)

Thanks for putting in your thoughts dear tkcr :)

Nirmala said...

Beautifully written shreya with beautiful example of child and parent relationship. i remembered a mother cursing her son saying "I wish you were never born because you are a loser" i wonder how a 14 year boy is hurt deep inside though he had a sad smile on his face. i immediately connected it to your article "Respect and Fear". you are buzzing with thoughts and ideas dear. God Bless.

Shreya said...

@Nirmala .. so nice to see your comments on my blog dear :) and i so agree how hurt that 14 year old must have felt. You know children are so innocent and parents are really their world (even for a teenager , who might disagree to this ) and whatever their parents say they take it very seriously i mean very close to their heart. Sometimes they disagree , sometimes they ignore it but it effects them fom within. As a child grows up it is 1st the parents given labels that he makes his image about himself like if the parents keeps insisting "you are my good child you cannot be wrong" over the time the child holds himself as good and gets a motivation from within to stick and do things that make him good. But if a parent says you are a loser , the child binds himself to this idea and instead of this being a motivating factor (like parents think the child will change due to criticism) it becomes a excuse like I am already a loser why should i even try do this for whom, no one loves me anyway.

I am not saying the parents are wrong their intention is right to motivate the child but being the maturer one they should understand that giving negative energy can never help a child. Giving unconditional acceptance and love will. :)

Thanks for your comment dear.

Anonymous said...

Thus they indifference stress a number of definite great promise in behalf

nimisha said...

i read ur blog until u stopped wud like to see more of your weiting shreya. tk cr

Shreya said...

Hi nimisha , I am very very very sorry until you commented i never really thought people would be interested in reading my blog...

I have not been writing that is because of mainly two reasons:
a) I am working on myself. I mean when i write articles i want to be sure if things really work the way i think they are working. My blog is not an entertainment blog afterall :) so i don't want to write things just for sake of writing :) I am working hard on myself for changing some very strong values from within thus there was a lag of 2 months or more.

b) one more major reason , my broadband bsnl wasn't letting me open or post on my own or anyone else's blogspot page. Thus had to run behind them for few days finally today was searching solutions for these online and got a trick to breakthrough :)So now if i write and you comment i would be able to answer them :)

Thank you so much nimisha for your lovely comment.


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