Saturday, November 21, 2009

Blind in love?? Blind Date...

" It was normal weekday and after office i was about to meet my blind date for a movie at inox, we met on Internet and our friendship was an instant hit. My friends were more interested to find out who she was and what she looked like so they called her up stealing her number from my cell and fixed up this meeting. When I looked up at the mall's passage I saw a girl in a lacy pink shirt and denim jeans of almost a height about 5'5", wheatish (wheat like) complexion and good vital status i mean really good, walking down confidently towards me. It made my heart beat so fast i felt i would almost collapse. Things dint work out for us after a few months but i still remember her. " says *Vinay smiling to himself.

A blind date is a date where the people involved have not met each other previously. The match could have been arranged by mutual friends, relatives or by a dating system. Till a few years ago blind dates were concept of west and forget about meeting an unknown man suddenly, the Indian bride and bridegrooms did not even see each other till their first night. Things started changing eventually, probably the first time meet of the bride and the groom would also come under the concept of blind date since both of them knew nothing of each other not even each others faces, but it was accepted since it was on the onset of their married lives. However the actual concept of blind date was derived from west much since dating was taken to a new level of experimentation. For many ages men and women thrived to find their perfect one's by dating their known one's but with blind dating came the excitement of knowing something completely unknown, may be they wanted to experiment with their destiny.

Blind dates are becoming more commonplace following the rise of the Internet, when people who have met in chat-rooms, Instant Messaging, Internet forum finally agree to meet in person. A part of youth now calls this "Internet dating", its no more traditional dating style. "Social Networking sites have not left blind date as it was considered before, you can check anyone's profile whenever you want, you have no trusted source of information to say if the person you are going to go out with is at least a good or a bad person to be with. Forget about looks you have to consider many more things from the point of view of safety before you go out with someone." says *Nandita who hates the idea of Internet dating. Conversely few others consider it "pretty experimental" , as *Vinay advocates " From my story, I know nothing went wrong we trusted each other and had a great time ya may be things did not work out in future but that depends on an individual blaming the whole concept of Internet dating as a taboo is wrong. At least in this you have your own judgment to understand things about other person while in customary dating, you had to always depend on your friends, friends of friends, cousins or aunties, and how would you ever know they are right always??? "

Blind dating is considered by psychologists one of the most stressful emotional experiences, mainly due to a great lack of self-confidence from both parties and the inevitable fear of the unknown. Both the parties are not aware of each others where being and looking forward could either be excitement or anxiety. With social networking sites running applications and communities for dating, you never know how true is the person on other side there's always a struggle between perception and reality. May be *vinay survived since his perception matched with reality it might not be same in every body's case. *Dhruv walked out of a restaurant in the middle of a date after he realized that the gal with him did not have a good reputation. Says the guy: ''The date was a disaster, but blind dates carry that risk. The best thing is that one can just walk away without having to answer any questions.''

Indian form of blind dates have progressed further from the time when marriages were arranged and your relatives fixed you up with your wife and you could know what your wife is like only on the "Suhaag raat", to the time when the guys and girls were allowed to peek into each others photographs to today were they asked to meet for an hour or so, if things click of they meet again or never again. Indian matrimonial sites have played well on this they have combined the concept of Internet dating and Authentic dating with Indian marriages, this lets both the youngsters and the elders in the house to see through and know about the bride or the groom via their projected profiles. Well times have changed and even Indian parents have adapted to this custom agreeing to which *Mrs.Nair mother to two sons says " At least our children are marrying with our consent and in today's world its very important to know your partner before marriage so there's no harm if they meet and decide for themselves. "

Blind Date for two people may never be same you might go for a blind date expecting a prince charming or beautiful damsel to spend evening with, what you might get is an ugly duckling. Probably the more you expect the more are the chances that you fall head over heels, reality might be far away from imagination. But blind dating is always convenient for people who want to experiment with their luck. It appeals to people who do not mind a few surprises. It is like aiming blind folded to a target which you are not even sure exists. Even then if you fall into the trap, only thing you can do is to handle the situation.

So just some perks for your preparation for a blind date:-

1) Gather your Info: Tits and bits work, find out the basics about that person looks might be one criteria more important ones could be job, interests etc. But don't simply go on a relatives say especially women tend to coat the hidden information, they saying nice, sweet and plump could mean cold, ugly and fat. So use your brains and don't day dream.

2) Chose to contact ahead a meet: Try emails or may be a chat session just to know the kind of person he/she is. Don't exaggerate this into an emotional bonding, you might regret and want to end it after your meet and if that happens the other person might be hurt.

3) Meet during day: Out in the light its always easy to say good bye and keep meeting short if you don't enjoy his/her company. Say you have a meeting or a deadline to complete so you need to leave early no offense intended. An added advantage for girls is day time is safer, much safer to meet an unknown in a crowded place and keep notes of what the other person does.

4) Don't go like disaster: You might not be interested to meet your aunts choice but that does not mean you go wearing a torn jeans or an old over sized dress. Dress up properly who knows you might end up getting your dream one??

5) Don't be inculpating: If things don't progress beyond the first date, don't wonder what you said or did wrong. Sometimes two great people just aren't right for each other. That doesn't mean either one is the lesser person.

6) Differences might click: Don't go on a date with a preconceived notion neither positive nor negative, he/she might be different from you you might be one who enjoys parting and he might be one who enjoys silent evenings but you never know thoughts and ideas might still match, spark may still be there. So give your match fix aunt a chance.

7) Learn new: Circumstances, events and the people you come across make you the person you are. The more kinds of people you come across, the more enriched your personality. You learn something from everyone. So even if the date is a disaster you might still learn something new out of it.

8) Many left: Hey!! nothing to be sad about there are many left to find out your dream one from. Just one or two dates can't make you sick. You go, see, analyze and if you don't feel good about it move on to next. Don't commit or get emotional about it.

So... isn't love blind ?

(* Names changed to protect identity)

Courtesy - Comments and quotations internet/ opinions personal copyrighted post for newspaper


rashmi said...

Waiting for the post to be printed and published in ouresteemed newspaper ..lolz
and ofcourse the reaction of readers matters (they should be inspired to [eg R_J] to try blind date ;)

Keep writing

Shreya said...

haha yap it seems to be inspiring people for blind date, lets hope they know what side effects they might mean :D

Hope readers also like the article as much as inspired one's did :P :)

thanks for posting your comment..

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