Difference in Opinion

It is easier said than done especially when we know who is correct. I mean if I know I am correct and what is right then shouldn't things go my way ? Where am I wrong ? Why do people have to always oppose me?

Imagine waking up one fine day and finding that the whole world and every being looking, working, thinking, behaving exactly the way I do. How would my life be? Perfect or boring ? Many a times I have heard people say "it is natural to have fights", especially in context of marriages. "Fights are extension of love " and then "what is life without disagreements". But I sometimes sit back and wonder if people who say it have really understood the meaning behind these ? is Yes then why has it over the time become so difficult for us to manage a simple difference of opinion and today we have come up with terms like "road rage" or "frustration" or most common "stress", what is all this if not just a different perspective.

From what i have understood I would share with you. There are two parts of the above statements:

1. Disagreements or difference of opinion is natural.
Yes absolutely true, as many as number of people as many opinions because each one is actually working from their own capacity, understanding, knowledge and self definition of right and wrong. It means you and I might see the same thing in entirely different perspective depending on what we priortize in life. Thus we have attached labels or right and wrong on each other from our perspective.

2. When there is difference of opinion , discussion is natural or communication is natural.
Instead we thought arguments are natural. Imposing opinion is natural :). In relationships atleast i believe we can solve all problems with right perspetive and little communication , communication not just from mouth but from heart (feeling level). Getting over emotional and non stable during problem solving deters the main intention of communication which is to find a solution.

That is why in ancient India debates were considered extremely important during their schooling. "Dwand - vaad vivad pratiyogita" or debates created a healthy environment to discusss , analyse and accept one truth over another. This helped general people create opinions about right or wrong mutually, interestingly this was not the end of all every year same topics were re-debated to make sure new school of thoughts is well incorporated. Unfortunately over the time these schools have gone and the only public debates we see are on news channels who thanks to advertisements never reach a conclusive end.

Anyways my point is that in absence of understanding the above two aspects where disagreements and open minded communication was the key. We have over the time convinced ourselves of a single one way opinion which are old and quondam. Whereever new school of thoughts were not accepted a belief system was created "I am right and you are wrong always".

Infact from my understanding the problem is not being right (which you might be depending on situation ), the problem is in thinking that the other person is always wrong even before you begin to communicate anything. This creates a thought barrier and thus we have fights with no solution. We have all done it at some point of time or other in anything or everything, stating one is right other is wrong like black/white. That has over the time developed a sense of intolerance towards anything that is not white, it is like saying there are only two colors in this world "white or black" and if something is not white it has to be black. We all can see what has happened to our world when we are painting it only in these two colors.

All I am trying to say is that let us just make a small shift in our thinking , in a new way lets understand people are different from me and that is something to cherish not complain. And even if you know that something is not right focus your attention and energy on what you can do about the situation than cribbing about the person who spports that situation. Don't try and change people forcefully you'd only waste energy and they'll never change. Lead by patience and example they take some time to solve but the solve is permanent. :)

adios

Attaching Labels

I remember this from not a very old ad of abhishek bachchan in Idea in which every man was identified with a number and no name. How true numbers have no labels no color , no caste , no creed etc. It so wonderfully depicted our set mentality of listening to someone's name and attaching various labels on it. Have you seen this movie " A Wednesday " where in the last scene Anupam Kher the commissioner refuses to divulge the name of  "the common man" played by Nassiruddin Shah, because he said people will create feelings, reasons, justify or criticise him based on his labels of name. And if he let him be just "the common man" then we'd all at one level find a string of attachment to him.

The idea ad and that scene from a wednesday all point to that one thing and yet we all try to inore and avoid its existence "Attachment to labels".  Here we are in the 21st century trying to create a world of equality yet our subtle mind has not given up on creating labels and opinions so fixed on people that they become hard to change forever. It is like that herd mentality one goes and others follow, and we do it all the time no matter ow much we deny.

A recent example of this came up when "Shahrukh khan" was held for repeatative interrogations for hour at US airport his label ?? "Khan" a muslim name ? how pityfull for a big Democracy like USA. No denial that the same thing happend with Mr. Abdul Kalam after he had just stepped down from presidentship he was madeto open his shoes , socks even after knowing he was India's x-president. No the point is not about getting angry on anyone who does what is their job , ask yourself are we untouched by this ?

Labels are opinions a brain detects  and generates series of feelings attached to it based on information feeded to it.  They are nasty they come quickly and they never go, they stick to you like forever. Until ofcourse you have the courage to change it over years through your action orthe person who has labeled you has changed his mindset. Think of anything under the sun with every word you get feelings, opinions & different vibrations attached to it. For eg. say red and brain immediately flashes a red color , a red apple, a red lipstick or a red car depending on if you are a child, a woman or a man. It is different for different people , which means the meaning of the label varies according to the perception and information that they have createdduring the course of their life.

Labels could be as simple as colours and could be as complex as opinions. Unfortunately we create labels every second about everything and anything. Good, bad, fat, think, lier, honest, rigid, simple, loving, hating, black, white, hindu, muslim, generous, miser, lazy, pretty, ugly and so many many more think of any adjective and that would be your opinion about someone, something, somenation, some gender etc. Meant to harmonise differences , over the time they have only created differences. Label does not distinguish  anything and it does not spare anybody. No wonder thoughts like "first impression is the last one" have gained so much importance.

The probel is not with labels , they were created to group the alikes together but unfortunately today we only see differences. Honestly over the time we have become resistive to change, not only have we become stagnant but we create negative energy for anyone who wants to break that shackle of his label. You and I label people and things from the time we meet them 1st and once done the brain rejects to re-think or reconsider those labels when we meet them next. We carry forward labels of past meeting into the future and unfortunately brain negates to re-label even we have the choice to see things under a different light. In response the other person also sends back similar resistance (if the label was negative) or acceptance (if the label was positive) and that paves path of your DESTINY with that person. So ultimately our in-flexibility of labels created destiny related to the labeled object and then we blame stars. :-)

Lets say a parent has labeled a child as "lazy" after some incident or incidents. Later no matter how much the child does what even at the slightest of rest (which might come after hardwork) the parent will immediately reiterate the child as "lazy" untill the child is stable and positive to work on himself or the parent is mature enough. However these single everyday labels will create the destiny of the child and parent relationship either of conflict , negative energy and dis respect or love and harmony. It is thus destiny created by us.

Labels are easy to change if you can overcome the feelings of past experiences and give your memory a refresh like computer screen does. Every soul deserves a chance to change, even if you do not wish to continue with someone change the label with forgiveness and move away. In the long run it beneficiary for you only. Look out for change don't be so resistive, everyone changes over time like the time itself. All we need is a little knowledge and little love to let that happen. And then DESTINY is yours.


adios

Strength / Power is

Strength/power is :


1. When you love someone without the fear of losing them.

2. When a man can appreciate his wife’s achievements without the fear of losing his masculinity.

3. When you stop judging people based on their work.

4. When looks are not a deciding factor for you.

5. When your silence speaks more than a 1000 words.

6. When you are not afraid of losing.

7. When your friendship with light does not haunt you in dark.

 
 
 
8. When you don’t forget your values for money.


9. When bending down in front of elders does not make you from an older generation.

10. When learning from a child does not make you feel like a dwarf.

11. When smile and peace is your answer to the corniest and carpiest remark.

12. When love stays inside your heart more than anger.

13. When faith and hope are the foundations of your decisions.

14. When white hair adds experience to your personality.

15. When the scariest thing that can happen to you is losing tune with inner self..

Strength is Capacity to resist force or pressure, and the definition will have varied meanings depending  on your opinion about force or pressure.

adios :)

Respect and Fear

Quiet often we have heard people say that respect is to be earned and not demanded and definitely not commanded. But still in our everyday life we either demand or command respect. Repect of a parent from a child , boss from and employee, senior from junior , husband from wifand in almost every relationship we yearn for respect.

Respect in general is the attitude of high esteem or admiration of someone. It could also be about self or someone else. Funny it is but a simple definition like this would explain you that fear should ideally have no relationship with respect. Yet in our everyday lives we fear only then we respect. Interestingly both the victim and the oppressor are unaware of the fear and understand fear as a mark of respect.

Let’s face it in almost all our homes we are expected to respect our teacher out of fear , infact I remember when Principals in school are in rounds they are teachers “What kind of a teacher are you, the children just don’t fear you.?” . Wow I wonder when the schooling system would chage to remember that teacher student relationship is not about fear but one born out of respect. Nevetheless it is not the fault of school or parents or children , as the society in general has begun to believe in this system.

When a person creates fear in another, it is usually to show that I can control and disturb a certain part of your life and since we are all in a dependent on each other in our materialistic world it becomes very easy to harm and give loss to someone who he thinks as victim. But eventually if you look at the mindset of the person who demands respect and creates fear it the one who is actually a victim. A clear victim of lack of self respect and self confidence. It is this lack of faith in self that creates a sense of vaccum inside which eventually gets filled up when fear inside someone else reassures him that “I am worth getting respect”, it means that over the time every gain he creates at the materialistic world becomes his ornament like his money, house , car , gadgets , education, physical power etc because it is through these that he get reassured from others of being powerful. A truly confident person will never create fear, silence and peace are his strengths.
The bestest of relationship of a parent and child is also not free from it. A parent creates the fear of punishment in a child’s mind to push the child to do some work. Over the time as the child grows up and masters the art of creating fear and he forces his wishes on others even on his parents. Then the parents say the children don’t respect them. Amazing but when Respect is born out of Fear, how can it sustain when the sense of Fear is gone ??? Once the fear is gone the respect also evaporates.

Now the question is Do I want to get respected this way ?? What are my other options?
First : remember newton’s 3rd law “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. “ What you would give would come back in equal amounts. Learn to respect and value the person you expect respect from. No not just in actions but in your mind learn to respect the fact that every person is entitled to his/her opinion even if the other opinion is wrong according to you , the person is right from his opinions his experience.
Second : Try and practise your thoughts , when you respect a person or child from within your actions should also be the same. The more the environment of understanding is created the better the thoughts are conveyed.

Third : Patience Patience and talk talk … nothing will happen in a day. Always know if you are not able to convey your thoughts and opinions and if you force it on other , the other person will always hold it in mind that the decision or action is because of you and even the slightest of error will trigger him to blame you. So arm yourself up with every reason for your opinion and keep talking till you can convince the other.

Fourth : Do not go into hurt and sadness if the other person is not convinced. Because even if the other person is not covinced and continues to work his own way, the other person will always respect the fact that you did not push your opinion on him and thus eventually at slightest of pain he will remember your advice thus inducing respect from within and not from fear.


Every person in this world will do what they want to , you cannot protect them from pain always. If respect is practised from both sides then eventually you would never have kids hiding their mistakes from you, you wouldn’t have an employee bitching against his boss. Eventually What you give is what you get is true not only for today , tomorrow or day after but forever. Let’s be equals in true sense.

Adios :)

Tagged post

Hii everyone :)
I have been tagged by this lovely person pavani :) , thank you dear it has been my pleasure to do this activity it was fun. Sorry everyone I was really late at this because I had been out at a holiday then back home had to rearrange lots of stuff. :)


So back to tag

The rules go like this -

Rule#1: Put the rules on your blog.
Rule#2: Every person who is tagged in this activity should tell 11 things about themselves, then answer the questions asked by the person who tagged you, then tag 11 other people and ask them 11 different questions.
Rule#3: Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.
Rule#4: Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before.
Rule#5: Really do tag 11 others, don't go all ''if you want to take this tag''


Rule 1: done
Rule 2:

1. I am a firmly positive person , i wonder why but even in the toughest of situation i can think only positive. Negative thoughts hardly flash up.
2. I am scared of ghosts yes badly :P i hate watching horror movies :(. I know my mind would keep repeating all that at night.
3. My favorite drink is water, I really can drink 2-3 big bottles a day and i never get bored of it :P.
4. Well I am teetotaller i.e non smoker and non drinker. Not that i oppose any of these but some of my ideas are strange and in my perception I am happy this way.
5. Really and truely i don't enjoy chocolates and ice creams like other girls do. Weird but may be in childhood doctor kept me away from this so much that over the time I have never deveped a taste bud for this :).
6. I love listening to people , all their stories , rants , their good or bad day etc etc i love to sit back smile and listen to them.
7. Sunflowers are my flowers not roses . I have always been fascinated by how those tiny sunflowers are such ardent lovers of sun and so admiringly look at him al the time, while other flowers shy away from that harsh sun. It teaches me how you can turn the bad for the rest to your best. It is really worth admiring.
8. I have weird combinations while eating food. :) I eat paratha with sugar and pickle, i eat milk powder with sugar , mixture with sugar basically sugar mixed with most things :P i wonder what i'd do if i turn diabetic ever :D. God don't make me one please ever. :)
9. I am a bit dance fanatic. I have learnt kathak, jive in the past but most of my dances are bollywood inspired belly dancing is my latest fad. :) Its awesome trust me.
10. I find saree a very ravishing Indian dress infact the only reason I'd keep myself "thin" life long is to wear saree in a slender way. It is one dress that scores way higher than any other dress.
11. I have no list of buying or hardly any wishes. Once someone asked me to prepare a list of things I'd want and i got super confused :P i mean i have everything and I am so satisfied i don't feel like creating a list. And even if i do so it cannot be made in fluke , i am practical i need time to reasearch and get best value stuff.


(uff !! it was some real hard work to tell 11 things about me.)




Now Pavani's questions:
1. Do you love makeup?If yes why??
I don't have a hate or love relationship with it. It more depends on my needs. I feel if i want to glam myself up I should know how to use it but I also have the confidence of walking bare faced anywhere , i don't feel handicapped in its absence.

2. Your opinion on astrology and horoscope matching during indian weddings???
Partially yes because I have a perception that our seers and elders where somehow more sensible in science then than we are now. If you think of the time when girl and boy din't meet before hand some kind of classification was good it was mere probability of future . But I also feel that if you are in love and are confident to make something work no amount of future probability will stop you from that just hold faith in your heart and keep moving. :)

3. Your place of choice for settling India/U.S.A/other foreign country??why
ALWAYS INDIA. Honestly i can adjust anywhere and make it feel like home but come on in a country where I am born in is always 100's above any other ;).

4. Shoes/bags/clothes??why?
preference hmm.. clothes > shoes >bags. Arey pehle kapde pehan lo :P baki sabke bina bhi manage kiya ja sakta hai ;)


5. Your style mantra?
Just be confident what else? :) i don't worry about style a lot.

6. What do you like,love,lust the most in this world??
my loved ones... i am hopeless at making a wishlist yaar how can I point a single thing. :D Just my loved ones around me safe and sound and happy what else does one need.

7. One makeup tip/beauty tip you swear by??
make up tip: kajal :) and lip balm. Nothing is more attractive in make up than dark eyes and smooth kissable lips :)
beauty tip: keep your hands sanitised when ever you touch your face, it is the biggest reason of pimples of all kinds and rest becomes history.


8. Your choice of colour for your bridal saree/lehenga?why?
anything excepy sky blue or blue family I am open to colors, yes family would love to see me in rust red yellow gold etc :P that is another story.

9. do you have a budget for your makeup???
Nope i just make things a bit sensible, I mean just reasearch and buy good then it depends on your need and the quality of the product. If it is really imp and good I am ready to go beyond my budget but i know how sparingly i use make up so i don't invest heavily. Just being sensible helps.

10. Your favorite foundation,concealer,blush,bronzer,lipstick,lipgloss,kajal,mascara,brushes(did I forget something,no I guess hehe)
God ... I have hardly tried as many stuff as you have written.
Uptil now
Foundation Bourjois healthy mix 54
no concealer
i already have naturally blushing(with past pimple marks) cheeks i hardly need blush ;)
lotus herbals peach creme glams up my lips instantly
no lipgloss
maybelline collossal kajal
avon suer shock mascara fairly decent
Sigma flat top kabuki .. amazing finish.

11. Your heart jumps with joy for??aches when you???why

How can I be subjective with this ... hmm donno it has to be lots of things when my heart jumps with joy mostly events related to my family may be when they are happy and aches when again when they are in pain. Most often or at least these days i have learnt to be more stable in life so joy or aches have reduced and I stay relatively happy All the time :D. It is like a slow dose of happiness all the time 24x7 rather than sudden fluctuations. :)



My 11 questions: (Pardon me i am horrible at asking things )


1. When was the last time somebody said you thank you or you said thank you and felt extremely elated by that ?
2. Did you have a moment when you felt bad refusing some body for something? please share .
3. How do you judge people from first look to after few meets ? i mean based on clothes, style , gadgets, behavior , speech, sensibility, intelligence. How would you rate these adjectives(or more if you have) on the scale of 1 - 10. eg looks 6.5.
4. Do you remember a child teaching you something important in life that was long lost from your mind or you din't pay attention to ? (your answer could also be no , you never had any such incident)
5. How would you describe yourself in a painting ? Use your imagination and feel free to write adjectives and fill colors in them.
6. Do you believe in God , what is your spiritual concept about him?

Some quick ones:
7. Land or sea or sky which one and why?
8. Hugs or kisses which and why ?
9. Socialise or solitude which and why ?
10. Sun or moon which one and why?
11. Freedom or Fairy which one and why ?


Ok now i dont know who has been tagged so even if you have been tagged before do it again for me :) it is fun trust me :)

Here goes the list:
1. Sonia
2. Suruchi
3. Saucy
4. Ankit
5. Ani
6. Nivedita
7. Prashant
8. Soumyadeep
9. Lancy
10. D.Beena
11. Aman

(I wanted to tag all my readers it would have been lovely to know your thoughts but 1. there is restriction on number of people and 2. many of my readers don't have their blog so they cannot do a post about it. Can some one tell me if we tag people who don't own a blog how would they do this tagged post ? Can they do it on my blog ? as guest post ?----- If yes then i'd put up an update and tag many more lovely Souls :D :) )

Thankyou all. :)

adios

Free coupon for fashion clothing from Risingtaste

Hello everyone,

This is completely off my blog topic but i got a free coupon from this fashion clothing website http://www.risingtaste.com/ .
5% discount on all orders (coupon: blogspot2012)

I saw some pretty clothing there and wanted to share with you all...if you are interested use the coupon to shop.

adios :)

Miracle of Silence

Silence is an amazing word. It holds various meanings at varied layers. While your tongue is only an organ helping you to talk it is most often your mind that disturbs the silence. In silence or quietness of anything you understand its natural flow. You become the observer and act detached to the environment. For eg. when you want to observe an animal habitat in some jungle you prefer to sit at a distance hold your binoculars and keep observing their(animal) actions...you see them , you listen to them but you do not judge them, you do not change anything and most important you do not interefere even when you see one animal hunting the other why because it is their natural self.

Unfortunately in our world we cannot sit at one place and let things happen, not because we do not get the opportunity to observe but because our mind never gives us a silent moment. Yes it has reasons to do so in the veil of creating a perfect world it is constantly busy changing and judging every one else but self. Since we cannot really run away we all need silence. Real true silence from the mind.

Silence from mind can help you stay composed even in the worst of commotion. You can be attentive even when the world is dancing around you. Think of a situation where you stand in the middle of a road on the divider close your eyes and listen ...the commotion of the heaviest of vehicles will give you silence of mind and suddenly you will have a flash of everything about you in thoughts. Though it won't last long but it is a good example to tell how silence would be like.

For silence to stay inside you and to observe its immense power.. thoughts need to be profound . For thoughts to be profound your mind has to adhere to a certain ideology. But ideals are hard to work at and difficult to stay at, because you work at ideals offered from outside like religions, teachers , parents etc . We have never developed our own logics and ideals and even when we do so our one ideology contradicts another ?? :( . All this because we are still an active part of the system. One can never be an observer when inolved in it. Eg. you cannot hunt an animal and yet wonder why am i hunting? At the same time... do it before to form an ideology or later as part of guilt.

Silence resides inside you, so do the answers inside silence. It is like a seed you need to water it , provide it sunlight and see how your own tree grows.


adios
:) tkcr

Your Mind and Ideas

Every day we keep doing things that would be capable of influencing people. The way we talk , walk, eat , pray , look etc i mean everything we do is to influence people not negatively but we do want people to take a note of us . Knowingly Unknowingly we follow the idea that has captured many minds. Lets for example take the fairness cream in Indian markets they sell their fairness creams based on the idea that most girls who want to get married want to be fair and they know it because most matrimonial come up with "wanted fair and beautiful bride" .




So today we will talk about ideas and how our mind plays with us with these ideas. So everyday we are bombarded with lakhs of ideas few of come from very obvious sources and come directly ( eg. "wow you can drive really fast" mind notes - ok i drive fast - liked - been noticed ) and few come from unobvious and indirect sources ( eg. advertisements in 10 seconds they make you imagine you can be as happy as the individual in the ad mind notes - ok if i get this i'd get happier).

Evereyday we accept a few ideas which we think come from valid sources mostly appreciation and we reject a few which we think come from invalid sources mostly criticism. Our mind is trained such that it wants to live with almost no change or with least change or it will change maximum only when it finds a large number of other people doing the same (it gives a sense of safety). Most often appreciation assures us we do not need to change while criticism pushes us to change alone , so we cheat a bit and follow the herd.

No matter how much we keep insisting we are different from others we all know our minds chose the easiest roads according to given situations. It is a very complex chain of ideas because from morning to evening, from night to day, from friends to family and from preachers to posters every individual every written, seen or felt thing offers you ideas whether they are true or false your mind has lot of work to do.

Interestingly our minds cheats and we let it cheat , instead of making our minds work harder to resolve so much data and find its own truth we push it to choose faster and follow. With this we have definitely won calculatingly but we have lost creatively. Individual creations , imaginations , inventions , out of the box ideas have turned so rare we are walking like zombies... same path , same money, same dress, same achievement everything same so much repetition????? . Only trying to succeed each other on the same worldly measurements. All of this because we have never trained our brain which ideas to accept and which to reject, we have never cleaned our minds , never chosen right above wrong...... never had the time to.

Now the trouble is ... your mind has turned into a dumping ground and it has clutters of years dumped into it and when you sit down to clean it your herd ideas contradict with your individual creative ideas and you see no guide to help you with this and you stop.
Impatient and frustrated you leave things mid way and your mind has cheated you again successfully.

adios


(Don't trust me :-) ....it might just be another idea , think about it ...

Sorry for being unavailable for long time I have been working on myself and cleaning my clutter and also was busy with little office work. )

Self and Balance

Most often i agree with people who say there is no right or wrong. It is culmination of action and reactions , past and present. There cannot be a society where everything will turn perfect ....there cannot be because the very reason of creation of this universe is imperfectness and dynamism. Yet we human beings suffer from indispensable liking of perfectness and righteousness.

So if there is no right or wrong then given two choices how do you know what to choose ? Where does this righteousness come from and how do we know always what is right?

Before we answer this I want to you to ask yourself a simple question, given a relationship how do you what are the best qualities to keep it good for long run? Love affection ? Understanding ? Commitment ? etc did you answer these ... why not force , hatred, jealousy , anger ?

It came from inside, something inside you tells you that relations irrespective of them being with humans , animals , trees cannot run on negative values. How ? and who inside you tells you ?

It is an " Instinct " or your "Soul" or your "in groomed Sanskars/Values"? For ease now say I.

Let us decode before we learn more.
What is this I ? The 1st thought that comes to your mind or inborn stimuli that does not come from rational consciousness.

Ever wondered why this teaches you a more universal value over a personal one. How does this "I" know what to do?.To understand this on a personal level we need to 1st look at the larger picture Universally.

Do you know stars are formed through processes like nuclear fusion where hydrogen combines to form helium and helium combine to form carbon and the star keeps growing bigger and bigger. There comes a time when Iron starts forming due to same process but , suddenly Iron does something different from what other elements had been doing it starts absorbing energy . As soon as it starts doing that star is doomed to collapse.

Universally anything that absorbs energy for a long time is doomed to burst for eg. food is energy eat more than you require .. your body will throw it out through illness. Every energy needs balance a certain source for an input a certain for output. Too much absorption will push it out. Like Negativity is nothing but absorption of too much energy at a certain point that leaves everything else vacuum. Like darkness is absence of light.

Universe thrives on balance and it is best balanced as a "giver" than "taker". Because universal dis balance makes sure that when everyone is a giver then automatically a taker would be found to be nourished. But when everyone becomes a taker to nourish self no giver is found. Actions , decisions , choices intend to do the same. When too much is absorbed by I ego everyone stops giving you and you live in vacuum.

It is impossible to create a world where everything would survive on it own for full life time without being consumed but it is possible to survive minus the vacuum. Lets say plants , animals all know someone somewhere will consume them. Can you save them , can we say that their killing each other is a crime , can we ask them to survive without doing this consumption? So they consume only and hence they are innate towards growth civilization understanding and living for a higher meaning.
Why cannot human beings live like this ? ....Because human beings have a quality that echos universal values inside them and that is "Restrain" .

Human beings can make choices based on restrain, control. Hence over ages have preserved the inner voice inside us the "I". The more you restrain from consumption of energy for self gratification and self satisfaction the more this inner voice I will grow stronger. The more and better giver you become the more nourished taker universe will make you. It is like DNA you have a better I inside you because of hundreds of your forefathers who exercised this restrain and control over generations. It is this that is teaching you when to act as a giver and when be a taker, even in this from the most oldest universal value you know being the perfect giver is the best state. It is the stage of Self Renunciation. Since that is not possible by me and you we survive on a thin line called Balance.

The best teacher is The Self and the best friend to learn it with is Balance. Since there can never be the most perfect world it is only possible to strike balance with your inside out while survival.

adios

P.S - Honestly I don't know how many of you could make some sense out of this but in short I can help you by saying that Soul is a combination of values we have earned through generations and when ever heard it never takes us on wrong way. I am leaving the topic half way because there is much to say and explain and everything cannot be put together in an article. To need and know more the greatest hunger of mankind must work i.e inquisitiveness.

I almost had a bad day :( but I am happy now :)

Uff today morning i opened up my dashboard only to find my blog missing :( I got hell scared HEART ATTACK :P both my blogs GONE :O . In panic i changed my passwords i thought it got hacked and someone deleted all my accounts :(. Almost my whole world resides in here and that got deleted :O ... worst of it the solutions from blogger help wasn't helping :( it asked my to click on " show all " button which isn't there on my dashboard at all . I almost made my mind set to make a whole new blog all over again.
But Luck worked after many hits and trials just now when i relogged in :D I found my both blogs :) yay !! me happy happy again :)


(Update on request from Suruchi)
Just a note of steps I took while all this happened:

1) I didn't get any error. It was just when I opened my dashboard it displayed nothing it asked me to CREATE A BLOG as according to it I did not have a single blog.

2) I logged in logged out several times in different browsers firefox , chrome and internet explorer... to check if i had logged in with some other password or id or some different browser could help but to no avial. Then I went to google help which suggested articles like
"I can't find my blog "

No help again. I changed my password to make sure there has been no hacking.

3) Obviously I serached google for my problem and came to these links
mysteriously vanishing blogs and restore deleted blog
which asked me to click on "Show all" button on dashboard but as you can see in the below pic I couldn't locate a show all button ?? anywhere? So again no help there too.


4) Last I posted my query on "help forum" which received no answer :P.

5) Finally i made my mind to make up a whole new blog. I just felt may be either there has been a technical goof up or there must have been a hacker who deleted all my stuff and i logged out everything.

6) After about 30 mins when i tried opening my blog again ... Voila everything came back :D yipee it was like finding a lost one :P

So well this was it may be it was sheer bad luck or good luck later that everything got restored by itself :D.

If in case you have trouble try your luck like mine. :)
adios

Happy Diwali and some sharing :)

Most often i write up about serious stuff , so i guess it is this little time i'd let my fellow bloggers see a bit of my world :). All rangolis made by me this diwali :) had a dozen pics but uploaded a few only :P and the house is my sweet home. And the last one is me and my pretty pretty diwali dress. :D

Happy Diwali to all of you . May the coming year be peaceful and prosperous for all of you :).

Forgive Yourself

Life is a journey we all participate in and follow an infallible path of learning. Learning cannot be separated as right or wrong it is mere absorbing knowledge and knowledge is completeness. So if knowledge is complete it cannot be good or bad. it is human virtues which resurrect them according to their usefulness with time.

Human beings grasp and absorb hundreds of things from the time we are born, we are expected to judge or be judged according to our actions. So strong is the capacity of these actions or karma that they make us eligible for heaven and hell. Right or wrong rules , following or not following them can make us good or bad.

We live daily through hundreds of actions through our thoughts. Every thought we create forces us to actions and delivers results. Sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly we make mistakes , we participate in wrong doings, we create ill feelings basically we go against the inherent nature of social being that is love and peace.

Whether you speak harshly with your mother or you steal something or you kill somebody etc all these actions are devoid of love and peace therefore somewhere inside us we create a feeling called Guilt. It is quiet debatable whether somebody who commits a heinous crime should be forgiven or not by the society if it would keep or destroy social life , but today we would talk only about "self guilt" and learning to forgive oneself.

Apart from what society sees as crime we keep doing actions that create a sense of guilt or helplessness inside us. For example being rude to someone, being angry at someone, not appreciating somebody's affection, etc. We try to ignore them or find reasons , explanations and try to justify ourselves for the wrong doing and yet we do not feel like letting it go. And each day you add on a new pile of guilt.

When you are free from guilt , you feel peace inside. The most important thing is realizing , realizing is good it is a base for a positive change. It tells you to take action of your responsibility and makes you a better person. Yes there may be mistakes for which you cannot even go back and say sorry , no matter how much you try you cannot mend the heart you have broken. But you can promise you won't break another heart and this is a good change.

Yesterday has already passed and you cannot change what has happened, you don't even know if life will give you another opportunity to overcome that guilt but accepting your mistake makes you aware of the good inside you. It reminds you that your consciousness is alive and is ready to protect you. On creating guilt it warns us that we have broken a rule of our code of beliefs, values or behaviors. It alerts us to the fact that we are acting against something important of ourselves. At those moments it helps us to observe and question what is real, true, important and even sacred in our life and for us.
Let go , some mistakes have happened because others were meant to receive their end of karma for which you had to add on a karma. You cannot have a control on others emotions but can at least take responsibility of your actions. Punishment will only make things bitter for us it would be like living with a dead body. Isn't it better to live with the memory of the gone than hold on to a decaying body??

It is necessary to learn to respect our self therefore being clear inside gets very important. Let the essence of learning stay and let pain go. Let the guilt go and learn to forgive yourself.

adios

Health within

Health is not just about being physically healthy, sometimes without us knowing some things creep up inside us with our thoughts they stay , create loops of similar patterns and then we realize this only when people tell us "you have changed".

Here is a list of few questions that will help you determine if you are healthy from within.

1. Are you always worrying?

2. Are you unable to concentrate because of unrecognized reasons?

3. Are you continuously unhappy without any particular reason?

4. Do you lose your temper easily and often?

5. Do you have wide fluctuations in your moods from depression to happiness, back to

depression, which weaken you?

6. Are you troubled by regular insomnia (sleeplessness)?

7. Do you continuously dislike being with people?

8. Are you upset if the routine of your life is disturbed?

9. Do your children consistently get on your nerves?

10. Are you irritable quite often and constantly bitter?

11. Are you afraid without any particular reason?

12. Do you feel that you are always right and other people always wrong?

13. Do you have numerous physical aches and pains for which no doctor can find a physical cause?

If answers to any of these questions if definitely "yes". May be then it is time to renew and cleanse your thought pattern.

Remember 9/11 for Swami Vivekananda

WELCOME ADDRESS - Chicago, Sept 11, 1893

Sisters and Brothers of America,

It fills my heart with joy unspeakable to rise in response to the warm and cordial welcome which you have given us. I thank you in the name of the most ancient order of monks in the world; I thank you in the name of the mother of religions, and I thank you in the name of millions and millions of Hindu people of all classes and sects.

My thanks, also, to some of the speakers on this platform who, referring to the delegates from the Orient, have told you that these men from far-off nations may well claim the honor of bearing to different lands the idea of toleration. I am proud to belong to a religion which has taught the world both tolerance and universal acceptance. We believe not only in universal toleration, but we accept all religions as true. I am proud to belong to a nation which has sheltered the persecuted and the refugees of all religions and all nations of the earth. I am proud to tell you that we have gathered in our bosom the purest remnant of the Israelites, who came to Southern India and took refuge with us in the very year in which their holy temple was shattered to pieces by Roman tyranny. I am proud to belong to the religion which has sheltered and is still fostering the remnant of the grand Zoroastrian nation. I will quote to you, brethren, a few lines from a hymn which I remember to have repeated from my earliest boyhood, which is every day repeated by millions of human beings: "As the different streams having their sources in different paths which men take through different tendencies, various though they appear, crooked or straight, all lead to Thee."

The present convention, which is one of the most august assemblies ever held, is in itself a vindication, a declaration to the world of the wonderful doctrine preached in the Gita: "Whosoever comes to Me, through whatsoever form, I reach him; all men are struggling through paths which in the end lead to me." Sectarianism, bigotry, and its horrible descendant, fanaticism, have long possessed this beautiful earth. They have filled the earth with violence, drenched it often and often with human blood, destroyed civilization and sent whole nations to despair. Had it not been for these horrible demons, human society would be far more advanced than it is now. But their time is come; and I fervently hope that the bell that tolled this morning in honor of this convention may be the death-knell of all fanaticism, of all persecutions with the sword or with the pen, and of all uncharitable feelings between persons wending their way to the same goal.


The World's Parliament of Religions has become an accomplished fact, and the merciful Father has helped those who labored to bring it into existence, and crowned with success their most unselfish labor.

My thanks to those noble souls whose large hearts and love of truth first dreamed this wonderful dream and then realized it. My thanks to the shower of liberal sentiments that has overflowed this platform. My thanks to this enlightened audience for their uniform kindness to me and for their appreciation of every thought that tends to smooth the friction of religions. A few jarring notes were heard from time to time in this harmony. My special thanks to them, for they have, by their striking contrast, made general harmony the sweeter.

Much has been said of the common ground of religious unity. I am not going just now to venture my own theory. But if any one here hopes that this unity will come by the triumph of any one of the religions and the destruction of the others, to him I say, "Brother, yours is an impossible hope." Do I wish that the Christian would become Hindu? God forbid. Do I wish that the Hindu or Buddhist would become Christian? God forbid.

The seed is put in the ground, and earth and air and water are placed around it. Does the seed become the earth, or the air, or the water? No. It becomes a plant. It develops after the law of its own growth, assimilates the air, the earth, and the water, converts them into plant substance, and grows into a plant.
Similar is the case with religion. The Christian is not to become a Hindu or a Buddhist, nor a Hindu or a Buddhist to become a Christian. But each must assimilate the spirit of the others and yet preserve his individuality and grow according to his own law of growth.

If the Parliament of Religions has shown anything to the world, it is this: It has proved to the world that holiness, purity and charity are not the exclusive possessions of any church in the world, and that every system has produced men and women of the most exalted character. In the face of this evidence, if anybody dreams of the exclusive survival of his own religion and the destruction of the others, I pity him from the bottom of my heart, and point out to him that upon the banner of every religion will soon be written in spite of resistance: "Help and not fight," "Assimilation and not Destruction," "Harmony and Peace and not Dissension."

By Swami Vivekananda

(Lets remember Swami Vivekananda once again in a world where every hand of each man is needed to make the world a better place to live in)

Courtesy :image http://www.acchikhabar.com/

Jan Lokpal death in Government hands

Here is something we all should educate ourselves with about the Lokpal Bill. It is an answer to those who feel Anna should have waited and waited.
Today I heard a news that in Mumbai crowd shoved back members of political parties carrying their respective flags, crowd peacefully stressed it is time for only INDIAN flag to show up and no other political flags. We don't need cheaters against cheaters we need India against cheaters.

Please educate yourself about the stress India against Corruption had to go before they hit the roads. Click on the picture.

Minutes of meeting as of 30th May 2011






JAI HIND !

TIME - My Healer ???

They say time is a self healer to many things. I sometimes sit back and think why does time has so much power to heal something and why do we have to wait for the time to cross by for our healing?
I never understood the exact meaning because i always thought each individual is different and has different needs depending on what they perceive the world to be, their healing periods can vary too from a few days to a few months to a few years or forever. Then how come people say each other time will heal everything. Let time pass by and everything will settle.




It is true that every action in nature is subject to certain laws which explains that its disturbance period will settle within a certain period of time. So yes partially true that every disturbance does settle after a certain time period. But the problem is to bring that time period within a human lifespan frame. For eg. disturbance caused by a pebble in water lasts for a few seconds , disturbance of a big boulder in water lasts up to few minutes , disturbances like volcanoes fire etc can last up to few days and disturbances in universe last up to many light years. All these are disturbances of different nature dependent on few laws which are explicable of time of settlement.

But human emotions ? they are not subjected to natural laws , they are subjected to treatment. Healing through any hurt, pain or sadness is through the memories of an individual. When an individual has nothing else to do than to repent on the same loss over and over again the period of healing extends, it is like RELIVING the same pain every time you think of it.

Time is nothing but a collection of memories over a human lifespan. Memories over one another overshadow older memories and bring live colours to the newer one's and that is how the healing process works faster. Time cannot be subjected to someone's healing untill the person is interested in overcoming the pain. Time cannot heal me, my thoughts will. The more i let my senses grasp things different from the older pain , more the healing time will reduce. May be that is why God has given us a living machine(body) for whose needs we need to keep working and keep forgetting our past.
Time is merely an ageing process physically but it cannot be my healer untill i want it to be.

So next time someone tells me Time will heal me ... I'd say no I WOULD.

Adios

Please call for Jan Lokpal Bill

Yesterday i got a message on cell :

"Ek zaroori suchna

Bharat Sarkar ne 1 sharat rakhi he ke 25 CRORES logo ka support ho to hi hum LOKPAL BILL pass karenge.

(And for this)

Please niche likhe no. pe CALL kare

022-61550789 (TOLL FREE)
call apne aap 1 ring ke baad kat jayega aur aapko thank you msg ayega.

1 Jagruk Bhartiya hone ka parichay de & friends ko 4rwd kare "


Honestly on 1st look i thought it was some hoax but when i searched on net and went to http://www.indiaagainstcorruption.org/ and saw that indeed the Lokpal bill needs support.

I did call the number and resgistered my support. It did not cost me anything. Also made my parents do the same even with landlines. And a Thank you message did come.

It is not a HOAX please support the mission. It could be your way of doing a bit for this and Being answerable to next generation.

Thank you

Ball of Failure

Failure is an intricate part of all our lives and irrespective of who we are and where we stand we all have experienced some or other kinds of failures or per say faced with a situation where we stood helpless and could not do what we should have. Personally i don't believe in failures or success that again takes a long route of believes and disbelieves that you may have about these but the point is that failures to an average man in indispensable.




Considering failure as a BALL, what comes after one has been through failure is the game to pass it to another person weak and helpless who keeps the ball and suffers through its pain. Sometimes amazingly the Ball is held by the same person and sometimes is passes through many people like chain.

This game is really interesting and the ball is super powerful it starts being unwanted and at the end of the chain is accepted willingly. It reminds me of a law of physics of electricity -- Electricity or electrical energy always flows through the path that provides lower resistance than compared to the path which provides it higher resistance (Please bend the words accordingly i by word do not remember the law it essence is important to me). This law of energy flow tells me how from a person who resists the idea of being the defaulter (higher resistance) passes the ball of failure to a person who meekly resists the same idea (lower resistance) , as it is no one wants to accept this ball but at the end of every chain there would be someone or the other meek and weak who without any actual responsibility would end up taking the charge of this ball and keep sulking through their life as "His Failure".

Take this small eg. Imagine a group of kids in school or a gang who dislike one particular kid who according to their standards achieves something special or some special attention he is not ought to. They sulk in their feeling of failure and then find a way to push their failure towards him tease him, hit him , hurt him , insult him and keep on trying these things till the other kid actually feels weak and accepts failure.

Ball of failure is a dangerous game for weak hearted it leads to anger , depression and even suicides. However everytime a ball of failure is started it swerves around strong minds. People who know that every act of failure is self created and actually honestly someone else's failure can never be thrust on anyone else. And when people like this accept this ball they end the game, they store the ball as their treasured object in their Armoire of Experiences. That is how the game ends.

adios

You have a CHOICE

Life is a powerful journey an empowering journey that is woven around us by our choices. Every second when we do something (or don't do anything) is dictated by the choice we make. People make choices based on various things around them ask a little child what you want to be in 90% cases he chooses to do what his parents do and those 10% who choose to do something different also choose to strengthen themselves during their own adventurous journey. But the point is all Choose.

We have a choice. From birth ..a baby chooses his time of birth grows and pushes his way out, baby chooses to cry for his food, baby chooses to find a way to crawl and walk. I have encountered people who had the worst of situations from the time of their birth but they have chosen not to regret not to cry not to loose , it took them time and struggle ....their share of hardships but they overcame everything with their courage. Every time they chose courage over fear they radiated success.

Sometimes i wonder how to define success. Many home makers time and again create a fact for themselves that they are unsuccessful, they have failed in what they wanted to achieve that they have no identity for themselves. Once again it is matter of choice, when they were getting married they chose to coyly follow their husbands irrespective of the bad treatment meted to them so they chose fear. When they repeated the thoughts of hopelessness and unappreciated thoughts about self they chose negativeness and self deterioration now they question why am i not valued ??

Success should create and aura of happiness around yourself , make you feel appreciated valued and loved. Now if at every step we let others decide whether I am happy valued or loved or not would i be successful ? We made a choice again of giving every one the right to prove us wrong.
Our choices make every bit of life that we want to create for ourselves, over the time i have understood one thing the power of belief that every self guru author talks about is nothing but making a choice. Belief can never work wonders with anyone if only you thing and not make choices according to it.
Let us say you want everyone to love you. You work on the belief of it and create thoughts of every one being happy with you.But when you see yourself in front of mirror you ridicule your body, your face, your complexion etc . Which belief should work you think ? Can thoughts work if you do not put them to practice ?

Yes choices may go right or wrong. They can make us happy or upset us. But at the end of the day you know you have done the right thing and are ready to take the responsibility of your actions because it was your choice no one pushed you into it. Facing life or running away is again a choice in your life.

adios :)

Grandparents past and present

I love chatting with my Grandpa(naanaji) he has always been a very scientific man and talking with him at any point of time is very much a pleasure :) we discuss anything under the sun from physics to genetics, from history to huts, from food to fatigue anything. Many young men and women of todays generation are deprived of this feeling may be because they donot find a platform to talk or discuss things or may be because when they sit down to talk they dont have a common topic on which their opinions are same.



Its not always that easy to talk to him without bringing the past and present comparision. Just today i had a chat with my Grandfather who felt sad on the thought that today no one cares about old things , new generation does not value a thing of the past and that religious things which were done for a particular meaning in the past are now done in ostentate & meaningless fashion. I knew where the track was going and i knew within a few seconds he'd recall everything of the past and be upset about it for another 1 hr after the phone call. This is something that frightens us or disturbs us while talking to elders because we know we want to explain and we do have an explaination but someho cannot convince them. So to avoid this we avoid interacting at all.

Every man and woman in this world has a right to have different opinions. Comparision of the past and present is inevitable. Neither past nor present is completely correct, we live in a frame of time where past merges with present every second. As the concept of time machine in physics said to view the past you have to catch the reflected light of the present that spreads into the universe and replay it.. similarly every action that we do now Right NOW is as much past as actions done a day ago or 100 days ago because they cannot be repeated in exact fashion in that exact frame of time. :) So there is no difference between past and present it is the same only the duration shorter or longer makes us say its past and its presnt. (oops !! That was too much physics & philosophy :P i'd come back to some normal language)

What i wanted to say is we cannot push our grandparents to understanding that they were past and we are present. Instead we should accept the difference that they are stateing and expand our vision to see why they hold that difference. In my case i asked him a number of questions as to why he felt reading religious books and saving the past was important. His actions directed me to the feeling that "the old has knowledge and experience that is capable of keeping the young safe and happy, the old wants to save us and the young avoids that". This non transfer of valuable knowledge perturbed him & not the non following of rituals which intially seemed to be the situation . :) So calmly i was able to explain him my way, which did not get into the hussels and bussels of rituals rather it was good talk about knowledge transfer from old to young. He calmed down and i knew he wont think about it later on.

Avoiding this situation could have been easier to avoid the friction but it would have also kept me unaware of the feelings that an elderly goes through that even i would go through sometime later on, it would have kept me unaware of the happiness that i felt after solving his thoughts and it would have kept me unaware from a Learning today that past and present is lovely there honestly is no difference in them but only in our thoughts.

Please dont ignore Grandparents they are a lovely blessing to us. You need not heed to every word they say but you can slowly learn to explain things to them if you really see why and for whom they say things.

adios :)