Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

Monday, February 1, 2010

Home Makers or Pay Makers ??



*Sheila Jain is a housewife or to be given a more meaningful name a home maker. She does not feel elated by this name as for her its still quiet the same. She gets up 5:30 in the morning gets fresh and pushes herself to the kitchen where she finishes filling water chores and tea and tiffin making chores by 6.30 then she wakes up her little boy and drives him to school by 7.30. Next she has to next start making tea coffee breakfast and then lunch for her husband and her in laws then run around with her maid. Next shoots her day in her home after 12 its time for her to re-cook lunch and clean her kitchen. She pleads sometime for herself by 2 but she then has to welcome her kid next. She smilingly does that and feeds her boy. By 6 she makes her way for the evening snacks and tea and later by 7.30 she heads preparing for the dinner since she hardly wishes to compromise with her daily soaps. By 11.30 her day ends and while going to bed she feels it’s only the night that’s only for me next day everything begins the same way.


For most housewives’s the schedule is quiet the same, how each one deals with the daily work depends on the willingness of the home maker. As the name suggests she is the living light of a home, a maker of the foundation of the first brick of society “Family”. But from past 2 decades India has been on a rapid change, a change that’s inevitable to not effect even on the part of housewives. Indian homes are no longer a part of the old traditional joint families and no longer the life in cities is left comparable to that of the past. Life is fast family members need to earn more money to survive in cities and so the trend of being a housewife is simply on decrease, partly because women have themselves chosen to be a part of work-force and partly they are forced to work.


When a home maker or a mother cares for her family she keeps a lot of things in her mind from the kind of preferences family members have, to the kind of restrictions they have. She has to keep in mind and maintain a thin balance between freedom and discipline in family. She cares for what who’s choice is from food, to clothes, to holidays etc at the same time she has to discipline her kid to study, her husband to eat correct, her in laws to eat medicines so on and so forth. Each of these looks so miniscule but it’s a job that needs endless attention and thoughtfulness that no matter what - a maid or an outsider can never give. The story of institutionalizing marriage is the need of adding wholesomeness to the smallest unit of society, which fulfills both the physical and emotional requirements of a human being, the mother or the home maker being the deity in that. Have these deities’s been rightly praised and valued???


The average housewife is said to work almost nine hours a day, seven days a week. If the same hours were worked in another job it would warrant a salary of about **15000INR. So when the thought of “Paying our home makers” arose from west there where many people who can forward to support the stance. But will a given amount of salary to a housewife do justice to a mother who spends her labour selflessly on her child??? Who should be giving the salary?? Would it not demean the mother’s role in her house?? Would she next time get the same respect from her child as she gets for her selfless sacrifice in their upbringing?? Yet demanding a pay for their sacrifice seems to be the new way of gaining that recognition that women have been deprived of for ages.


*Mrs Singh aged 65 a housewife states “Yes, they should. If you can pay an outsider for those jobs, the same rule should be applicable to a family member too. And nobody can match the commitment levels of a housewife. This will make her feel important and eventually lead to some savings as most housewives will spend the money on the family only.” On the contrary her daughter *Shweta aged 20 college student says “I don’t think so. This will act as a big hindrance to the education of a girl child. Today, girls are encouraged to study, earn and become independent. If they are paid for household work, many parents will stop sending them to school. This may also result in early marriage of girls. “


Now a mother daughter fight bought into our notice another important question – “Who should pay??” while shweta said it’s the government who should be paying the housewives arguing “What’s the use if husbands pay?? The total money within the house will be the same pass from one hand to another.” On the other side Mrs Singh wanted her husband to pay “I want him to know how hard my work is and while paying so much to me he would know my value at home.”


On asking “If paying home makers for their tasks at home correct way to value them??” - *Manoj an engineering student and a MBA aspirant explains “Society should always try to reward its citizens for vital work in some degree at least. Under a capitalist system the value of goods and services is recognized in financial terms, so a wage would recognize the important contribution of homemakers. As well as being important, housework is physically taxing, time consuming and in balancing the needs of a household, a relatively specialized task. These features are all valued highly by the marketplace, and it is a pure accident of history that home makers have not been included in this. “


On the other hand their where many who wanted women to be recognized and valued for their work but completely disagreed on the thought that husbands should pay their wife’s at all. *Meenal a soon to be married girl said “No...a woman is not her husbands servant or housemaid. Monetary compensation would be an insult. If a woman now days is lucky enough to stay home, raise her children, and provide the best environment she can for her family, while her husband is working outside the home to provide the means, that is how it should be. It's a partnership, not a business deal.” And keeping accords with her *Anju opined “No way! How demeaning would that be?! It also opens up a whole gamut of other problems including "boss/employee" expectations, and lets face it, do we really want to give husbands any more power over us?”


Our society needs not just housewives who struggle at home for their work but women who work dedicatedly for their families. And it is for the well being of a happy and healthy family to value and appreciate a mother, a wife whenever required after all rules of Motivation follows for every human being. Brick by brick good work has to be heightened; the benefits of having mothers at home would become apparent soon. I expect we’d find a nation where, on average, our children were better educated, truancy were diminished, broken homes were decreased, crime were severely curtailed, society be more gender balanced and even though our ways of doing things change with time we wouldn’t change in heart. Beauty of a home maker is in her values and sufferings she endures for her loved ones the only thing she genuinely wishes to see is her importance in the eyes of those whom she loves. Is it so difficult for us to recognize this?????


( *Names changed to protect identity ** Pay based on a hospitality services survey)

http://simplyshreya.blogspot.com/

Courtesy - Comments and quotations internet/ opinions personal copyrighted post

Saturday, March 7, 2009

What Men want from their Women




Some long days back when i wrote down the article about what girls want? One of my friends pressed me to write about what men want...and there after lot of girls felt the same.  So, so long i really dint get any time to implement her request but this time I’m putting down some quick perks on What Men

Want from their Women....

 

There's always some or other way to enhance a relationship and make sure it never goes dead keeping it alive is in our hands so just like girls have lotsss of expectation from their guys, guys too have some expectations from their girls. Now whatever points I could think of is actually a culmination to make happier relationships for those “ who wish not to be single anymore " , " in the making (gf n bf) " & " already made & settled (husband n wife) "....

 

Well I would go on and on in preaching. So Let's get the ball rolling ...

 

1) Dress Smart - "1st Look stage"

 

Looking is believing what you are. Its the 1st impression one would have for you. SO, See who you are before you chose to dress, Dress what you are most comfortable in DONT WEAR WHATS IN FASHION when YOU CANT HANDLE IT.... it shows in how you behave and handle that dress.

You need not wear a skirt if everybody is wearing it, if not comfortable make out a bold statement and wear what you feel good at. And ya make sure the Dress does not dangle out of your shape(if you are fat do not wear too skimpy dress) and chose colours according to occasion. When you do that reflects on your face makes you more confident.

For eg if you are not habituated of wearing salwaar kameez and you feel more comfti with a pair of jeans and T , wear that ....chosing to wear to suit and then getting disbalanced with your dupatta, catching it everytime when it falls off looks eye bustling. Anyways the same goes other way round so in

short WEAR SMART and what is comfortable. This way you stay on mark atleast if your Perfect Man Does not give you an A+ he will atleast begin noticing this New confident and different woman.

 


2) Talk Less But Dont Talk Stupid -  "hi hello beginning stage"

hmm , hunting for a perfect man? Then why not begin with being perfect yourself?? have you ever visualised YOUR so called PERFECT MAN talking stupid things giving silly opinions and reasonings talking hopelessly and uselessly when not required?? When uninvited?? Laughing Loud with grunts and hiccups? If No then why do the same ??

 

If you think you can do all this and an Intelligent Man will ignore this then you are wrong....


There's some basic sense and sensibility everybody desires from his or her partner , I mean you need not be a genious and know everything but you need not show everybody that. If you really honestly dont know about something accept that Don’t FAKE by talking stupid senseless things when you have no clue about what you are speaking. That way you lose the respect of a man in the 1st look itself and you seem to be like an attention crazy person then for Your Perfect Man you are a complete BIG NO NO….

 


3) Let Actions talk more than words - "Talks Begin"

 

 Till now we saw was what you could do to get that 1st look impression around your man, now comes the next step TALKING ... Like I said before dont show off, be original and just be yourself but ya dont be silly :)

 

See honesty shows on face and actions, for eg if you are not an animal lover but your perfect man is then please for heavens sake dont try and pretend " ohhh how much I love animals you know " its artificial and trust me you would be caught, If not today then later but you would be caught for sure.Let your actions talk, have basic etiquettes, talk softly and if you dont know something then listen, men appreciate when you yearn to listen to them, want to share what they have to talk about. So get these soft finess in you and you have the 1st ever attention moment from your Perfect man :)

 

 

4) Stick to Your Opinions - " Sharing views "

 

This is the stage where you begin talking and knowing each other, where two people eventually come to know about each others values thoughts ideas and opinions about different things. As much as I understand if you are a girl who keeps changing her opinion every now and then about anything, and keep changing them frequently without a solid reason logic and explaination  You would be termed as Unstable and not somebody who could be banked upon in terms of Sharing things.

 That doesn’t mean Don’t change opinions even when you feel like, its just that dont be adamant change opinions and thoughts when you have a reason to something that sounds valid , but keep some things firm and keep hold on your emotions dont see everything and anything and change your opinions according to whatever is on in front of you. That will make your Man respect you for what you are.

 

 

5) Trust - " Liking each other "

 

The witness to the entrance of a relationship is beginning to trust each other. But before you do that make sure your partner is worth being trusted, in this so so bad world where you just cannot trust up any tom dick or harry, its becomes even more important to know if your partner should be trusted for this most women believe in their gut feeling so slow down and put up a check test of your own to know how genuine he is, go ahead with a relationship ONLY AND ONLY when you are 100% sure of him.

 

 Once that is done dont keep doubting him all the time about his intentions his feelings etc etc because remember " YOU TESTED AND VERIFIED THE PERSON YOURSELF "  so its not his fault of how he is you have to and have to accept him as he is ....dont suspect him everytime he gets late for  a date or forgets to call you at night .... because when you have already verified the person and then doubt him, it makes him feel like " YOU ARE SO UNPREDICTABLE" and that he's not in a good relationship. Because always for a Man

it becomes very essential that EVEN IF THE WORLD DOESNT TRUST HIM AND DOESNT UNDERSTAND HIM HIS GIRL TRULY TRUSTS HIM....buddy you are supposed to be his strenght and esp. when you yourself have given his a 100% pass result there's no point doubting him now :) this is a Guru mantra girls it always touches a man's heart. And when you be with him through Good and Bad times trust me he too will be there for you at any time good or bad , day or night.. He will love you immensely.

 

 

6) No Guess game - " Smooth relationship time "

 

Men are really bad at guessing work :) and its true :) dont make him guess what’s on your mind ... even if you want him to guess keep the guessing period short rather very short :P Men do not understand the language that goes around beating the bush even if your man knows all your choices very very well, he will take time knowing what you are hinting him at. Its bad I know most women expect men to understand their hints and act according to that but that unfortunately doesnt happen they are rather frank and want you to act that way.

BUT MIND YOU there's difference between being mysterious and playing guess game.... I know many people would tell you to act mysterious so that men are interested in you but it need not mean that you have to ask your bf  " ok guess whats on my mind " ....

Being mysterious is attributed to Being Feminine for eg Cleopatra had an amazing aura around herself with her looks her actions she was so feminine that Men desired to know what she was how she felt about things etc its like arosing a feeling of curiosity .... playing the guess game is different its like you yourself are pressing your bf to the edge of frustration. A short time period of guessing will make you mysterious but a longer one will make you a BORE BORE WOMAN....

 

for eg Mysterious - is telling your bf  " I will wear something really sensuous for our date tonight "

 Guess Game - is telling him " Guess what i will wear tonight "

Got the difference ??

 

 

7) Be Honest But Not Blunt - " Keeping relationship stable "

 

How would you like if your Man comes to you and says " Yuk!! you look really bad in this dress " and how would the same thing with sweeter tone do " Why dont you try something in Pink suits you more than Green " thats chivalry ?? hmm i feel thats like handling a situation well.... Just like you even Men have feelings they like Women who talk straight but their want their sweeties to talk good too. Treat them as humans they too like being praised for what they do for you. Even if it is something as small as like holding your shopping bags :) and why shouldnt they ??

They want you to know that they do all this for you because they love you.... an act of appreciation never hurts .... even if you dont like something you have some disagreements talk it out in softer terms

DONT talk TOO much ONE single clear line is enough to tell him you dont agree with him .... always know that the number of times you repeat your argument THE PATIENCE OF A MAN DECREASES TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND YOU (inversely propotional) :) its a fact. So act accordingly.

 

 

8) Be Humourous and witty - " Increasing Bonding "

 

Dont always expect that Your Man will keep making you laugh and keep you happy even you can do the reverse it keeps the fun alive in the relationship. Sometimes even they feel dull and lifeless so go ahead do something different take his role and make him laugh without going serious you would see how your relationship takes a twist and reaches to a different level. Share some light and happy moments in company of each other.

 

 Men appreciate Women who have a tinge of funny bone in themselves makes you a  diverse personality something that separates you from other girls. Try it!!

 

 

9) Take a Break - " Sharing Space "

 

Just like you have Friends and you need some personal space to think and know about your career studies family etc he too needs that .... he has his time where he would simply want to hang out with his group of friends and might not really need you there. So understand and respect that, respect the fact that he's working and you shouldnt be disturbing him now, that he's out with his friends and they are his friends long before you became his gf and that sometimes he will just not wish to talk to you , it doesnt mean you have to get psyco and buzz him up every time and say " why you arent talking to me " " you dont have time for me these days " etc rather take a break and wrap up your work and tell him that there may be times that even you might feel like doing the same. He will Respect your decision. So you give him his space and he will give you your space :) So both happy.

 

 

 

I hope i have covered up every stage.You need to know at what stage you are in what situation you are in and act accordingly. Hope all these points have covered up whatever you wanted me to talk about. Even Men can let me know if I am right or wrong somewhere most welcome :) after all the analysis was about you guys ...

 

till then adios :)

c ya 

Sunday, November 23, 2008

How Women Thinks?


FINE -
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.


FIVE MINUTES
-
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.


NOTHING
-
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".


GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
-
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.


LOUD SIGH
-
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".


SOFT SIGH
-
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.


THAT'S OKAY
-
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."GO AHEADAt some point in the near future! re, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.


PLEASE DO
-
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".


THANKS
-
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.


THANKS A LOT
-
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Saturday, February 16, 2008

JUST BECAUSE


























Just because no one has been
fortunate Enough to realize what a gold mine you are,
Doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough To figure out that you can't be topped,
Doesn't Stop you from being THE BEST.


Just because no one has come along to share Your life,
Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.



Just because no one has made this race Worth while,
doesn't give you permission To stop running.


Just because no one has realized how much Of a woman you are,
Doesn't mean they can Affect your femininity.


Just because no one has come to take the Loneliness away,
Doesn't mean you have to Settle for a lower quality.


Just because no one has shown up who Can love you on your level,
Doesn't meanYou have to sink to theirs.


Just because you deserve the very best There is,
doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your King,
doesn't mean that you're not already A QUEEN.


Just because your situation doesn't seem To be progressing right now,
doesn't mean You need to change a thing.


Keep shining,
Keep running,
Keep hoping,
Keep praying,

Keep being exactly what you are already -

COMPLETE!

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